From our May, 2010 issue, on sale now. Words by Kevin Duffel.
Skaters are no strangers to the camera, but a select few have somehow garnered access to the catering truck while filming. Probably even more surprised than they are for getting a legit free meal and hefty paycheck out of it, though, are the vast majority of us skate nerds who are left jaw-dropped in awe, shouting, “Holy shit! Was that…?” after catching an unexpected glimpse of one of our favorites on the silver screen. Netflix these and queue the double takes.
1. Tony Hawk. The Simpsons, “The 300th Episode.” ’03.
You know you’ve made it when you’ve been on The Simpsons; they don’t let just any dim-witted chump into Springfield (disregard that Facebook Simpsonator application). The Bird Man landed himself a spot in the commemorative 300th episode alongside blink-182–how epic, right? Highlights include a midair vert ramp brawl between Cap’n 900 and Homer J.
2. Rob Dyrdek. Righteous Kill. ’08.
Occasionally a film has a scene so shitty you can’t help but wonder how it cleared the director’s cut. Case in point: Dyrdek’s, or “Rambo the skateboard pimp,” scene in Righteous Kill. Don’t expect Rob to pull any Oscars by flying like a ragdoll–albeit a freshly dead one–in one of Hollywood’s all-time most embarrassingly bad kill scenes.
3. Chad Muska. Entourage, “Oh, Mandy.” ’05.
Muska drives like a dick. Johnny Drama gets pissed. Muska spits on Drama’s Escalade while driving in a convertible PT Cruiser and wearing only the bottom half of a wetsuit. Drama speeds up and frantically beats Muska’s Loser Cruiser with a golf club while Limp Bizkit blasts through your television speakers at ear-shattering decibels. “Oh, Mandy”? More like, “Oh, Muska.”
4. Chad Fernandez. Grind. ’03.
It might have been a step up from appearing in skateboarding’s most infamous video, The Storm, but Chad Fernandez’s role in Grind surely had the same effect on his reputation. Agreeing to deliver some of the wackest lines in screenwriting history, the phrase “selling yourself to the devil” has never rung more true than right here. I hope that check was worth it.
Skip to 1:40 for Chad’s appearance.
5. Steve Berra. Felicity, “Todd Mulcahy: Parts 1 & 2.” ’99.
To be fair, Berra’s acting is notably better than most. Unfortunately for Steve, his thespian efforts aren’t enough to prevent his character Todd Mulcahy from A) getting rejected by Felicity after an overdramatic, sappy plea for a kiss, and B) getting flattened by a bus directly after saying, “We will kiss. I am down, but I am not in any way out.” To be continued…
6. Mike Vallely. The Hangover. ’09.
While it might not have been the longest scene, Mike V’s brief appearance in The Hangover was certainly unexpected. Every skater on earth had to double take after seeing Mike V deliver a tuxedo via midair toss between two moving vehicles on a Las Vegas freeway. Random? Sure. But at least it wasn’t another predictable fight scene.
7. Gonz. Gummo. ’97.
Leave it to Gonz to star in the strangest scene on this list, yet not seem out of place. He literally wrestles a chair (yes, the wooden kind) and proceeds to kick the shit out of it while a heavily inbred crowd cheers on. I’m not sure what’s weirder–Gonz wrestling a chair, or the fact he’s so damn good at it he probably does it regularly.
8. Ryan Sheckler. Tooth Fairy. ‘10.
Sure, reality TV is “unscripted,” but when writers and producers get involved, it typically becomes as real as Candy Land. For Sheckler’s sake, let’s suppose he wasn’t acting in Life Of Ryan. His role in Tooth Fairy supporting The Rock as hockey player Mick Donnelly earns Shecks a legit spot on this list.
9. Javier Nunez. How To Make It In America. ’10.
Wilfredo Gomez: probably the best/worst name never to be on the bottom of a skateboard. Apparently the producers of HBO’s How To Make It In America sided with the latter because after the show’s season one finale, Javier’s off-kilter, pseudo-pro skater character kickflipped into oblivion, never to be seen again.
10. Fabian Alomar. Southland, “Discretion.” ’10.
It must be crazy playing a gangbanger named El Flaco on TV mere months after serving time in the slammer, but if anybody knows the part, it’s Fabian Alomar. Let’s just hope he’s not out there method acting à la James Dean, because quite frankly, we’re more than psyched on seeing the ex-Menace around again.