Forget booze, cocaine, women, and rock ‘n’ roll-there’s a new drug in town, and its name is MySpace. Like crack in the 80s, this Internet “place for friends” has dug its claws in deep-from street stragglers scrounging for change so they can get a mere five minutes to update their profiles at the Internet cafe, all the way up to the top-tier ballers running the companies whose products you purchase on the daily.

As with all plagues, skateboarders, too, have become afflicted. This thing has become so powerful in fact, that resistance has proved fatal, and the best thing to do is just embrace living with this disease. These are a few notable quotes from pros’ “Spaces,” and don’t worry, if it hasn’t gotten you yet, it will.

“DUDE! Brosky… Can you please post a comment on my page about how f-king cool I am so I can actually look STELLAR in front of my friends cause I know Jimmy A! That would be CASGNAR (casual/ gnarley).”-Comment from D Rock 666 on Jimmy Astleford’s page

“the dude who battered then deep-fried the first piece of chicken, white chicks who wear platform sandals and have a tramp stamp (a tattoo on the small of their back), anyone who casually uses the n-word”-Clyde Singleton’s page under “Who I’d Like To Meet”

“i once broke another mans hand high5ing… but when this dinks hand connects with mine… holy living f-k!!! sport center otta cover this story of true winningnesss.”-Rob Welsh commenting on Joey Pepper’s page

“sk8mafia did a demo for 816 and it changed my life.”-comment from “through!” on Peter Smolik and Dan Connelly’s joint page

“damn…i would never guess so many gromets would like u…congrarts…or should i say im sorry?”-comment from “to all hot females…don’t add me…fat ones do it” on Harold Hunter’s page

“whats up man i dont no if you remember me but i bumed a cig off you at tampa am or pro dont remember.”-”d to the p” comment on Rob Welsh’s page

“yo jereme, thankz fo tha add! DVS part was tight actually the whole video was. hey do u know if P-Rods got a myspace? ight? holla back.”-comment from “R-Koon” on Jereme Rogers’ page

“i’m a genious. i dont know hot to spell it but I’m still smart.”-Torey Pudwill’s homepage quote

“Fearless home, more whine, less breath, more talk, less say are my goals.”-Ronnie Creager’s page

“Thanks for the add….good to meet another Shovel Rider.”-from “EAST COAST DAVE a.k.a. SCROOGE” on Adrian Lopez’s page

“I am a great person when you get to know me. 99% of the time I’m a chocolate gentle giant but when Provoked I transform into a Silver back gorilla so be real.”-Big Black’s page

“I don’t know the key to success but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.”-Nickavelli a.k.a. Diamond Nick a.k.a. Nick Diamante

“Yo to all them fools who are acting like me putting up my picture as another f-k yall.”-Terry Kennedy’s page

“I used to be a actor but I sucked and I find myself drinking more when it rains out.”-Jordan Hoffart’s page

“GET IT RIGHT BITCH I ANT COCKY I’M CONFIDENT.”-Kenny Hughes’ page

“I am a breathing human 6 feet tall and I love anything in a beer can.”-Lance Conklin’s page