A Saskatchewan Is A Bigfoot, Right?

Tidbits of useless information about the Tum-Yeto Canadian mega-tour.by Ed Templeton

The following is based on journal entries made during a trip across Canada by Ed (Winnipeg to Vancouver) and Deanna Templeton (who drove the entire tour).

This trip is not an acid trip, like you druggie little punks are thinking about, but a skateboarding trip, which I suppose in some ways resembles an acid trip. Now, I’ve never done acid, but I have done some skateboarding. In fact, I’m a full-blown skateboard addict. I often abuse skateboarding and sometimes overdose on it, which seriously messes up my schooling and my job. My parents get mad at me for abusing this drug, because they want me to do well in school and succeed at work. I tell them that addiction is what drives people. Only people with a detrimental love of something have a strong enough desire to rise to the top. Fortunately, I went up in skateboarding instead of down with drugs.

Hold on, we got off on a bad foot here. This is about a road trip across the second largest country in the world after Russia. This is a trek through French North America, across the wide-open plains, and over the snowcapped Rocky Mountains. It’s about lurking in the urban streets of Toronto, and waiting for the rain to stop in Vancouver. But it’s not like you skaters actually read the articles in here, anyway.

Background Information For The Interested

Two large, fifteen-seater vans were driven from San Diego, California by Damon (a Tum-Yeto employee) and Deanna (a pro skateboarder’s wife) to Manchester, New Hampshire. Pro skaters flew into New Hampshire and piled into the two vans. The two vans then drove north, crossing the border into Canada.

The two vans were filled with skaters such as Jamie Thomas, Ethan Fowler, Alex Gall, Daniel Shimizu, Judd Hertzler, Austin Stephens, Tony DaSilva, Brian Anderson, Brad Staba, Adrian Lopez, Mike Ruscyck, Jon West, and Ed Templeton, who all then drove from Quebec City, Quebec to Vancouver, British Columbia via the trans-Canadian highway, stopping all over to do skateboard demos.

Names Have Been Changed To Protect The Perpetrators

Krissy Ford is fifteen years old. She’s a young girl¿a very “ready to be liked” young girl. I spotted her and her friend Anna in the parking lot by the demo. They were rolling a joint on a little kid’s pony book. I walked over to them and asked if I could take their photo. They were very eager and said, “Yes!” They stood away from their pot and said I probably wouldn’t want their pot in the photo. I told them I didn’t care, that I was just shooting whatever was around. So they went back to rolling, and I started shooting. Their conversation was insane¿a mix of Teen Beat and High Times magazines. They were actually really cute girls, and I enjoyed their company. They made me laugh and smile, and think of how messed up teenagers are these days.

After they finished rolling, we talked a bit about what was going on. Krissy told me she wanted to date and marry a skater. She told me how she wanted to travel in the van with the guys and smoke them out. She said they would smoke the team out for product, or have sex with them for product. I tried talking to her and her friend about how that wasn’t a good idea. Krissy had no self-respect. She had no clue how special she was as her own person, and that none of these guys were superior to her. None of them were special enough to use her and then leave.

Later that day she hooked up with some of the skaters and smoked them out. Photographers covered the event, and filmers filmed it. Krissy asked one of the pros to autograph her bra. They walked away from the crowd and went behind a building. They were gone for five minutes, more than enough time to sign a bra. What else was happening?

They finally came back. I took the girl’s arm and told her I wanted a photograph of her training bra with a signature on it. She lifted up her shirt with a nervous laugh. I tk some photos. The skater wanted a photo of him kissing Krissy. I looked through the lens at this man going in to kiss a fifteen year old.

I said, “She’s fifteen, man!”

Then she blurted out, “I’m sixteen in two weeks!”

I left and got in the van. Then it hit me like a brick wall; I had a lump in my throat and was sick to my stomach. What did I do? Why was I so quick to shoot something I think is wrong? I felt like I just okayed everything that happened. I was sending the message, “It’s cool to do drugs and get your bra signed. You’ll get your photo taken for the magazine!” I only hope I can use that photo to say something to young girls about self-respect and not giving yourself away. I just feel sorry for letting them down.

A Girl’s View of Tour Lifeby Deanna Templeton

I couldn’t fall asleep until 4:00 a.m. due to the snoring by Brian Anderson. It was so bad I almost started to cry. I tried to stop him from snoring; he was on the floor next to me. I was tugging on his pillow until it was all the way out from under his head. He stunk of smoke and booze, it was so gross!***

The demo at the Tazmahal skatepark in Quebec was huge! People everywhere, on the course, on the obstacles, everywhere. The skating was going off, cheers like they were the Beatles! It was a lot of fun to watch. I met a really nice girl named Dominique. We talked for a while. Damon and Brad thought she was hot. No one hooked up with her, though.***

I walked around by myself after eating with Jamie and Brad. I tried on a really cute bathing suit, but my butt was too big for it. Story of my life. Then we drove to Ottawa.***

We drove to a hockey arena the shop rented for the demo. It was cool. Some kids asked me for my autograph. What silly boys. Austin tried to get me to rollerskate on the course, because the ground was so smooth. I didn’t, though, it would have been too embarrassing.***

“We listen to Madonna and Michael Jackson, and Brian warns me when gnarly rap is going to come on. I think the other van is starting to torture Damon. I asked our van to please not torture me, or I’ll cry. They said they were looking out for me. Yay!***

It’s April 24th. Just driving a lot. Lots of rain. We stopped in Detroit, Michigan, so the group could skate by the water. That was nice. I tried to rollerskate but lost a stopper. The stopper was later recovered. Yay! Jamie blew up his shin, so we stopped by a CVS drug store for medical supplies.

While sitting in the parking lot, we observed a car pull up, but not fully park, in a stall. It sat there for a bit. The driver could barely keep his eyes open. I watched him get out of his car and fall onto his face. He got up, then fell down again. His friends got out of the car just as bad as him.

I couldn’t believe this person was behind the wheel of a car! Everyone in the two vans got out to assess the situation. Jamie and Lee looked for the car keys to take away from this young man but had no success. They locked the keys in the car. Everybody thought he was on some hard drugs. Beautiful. The cops eventually came, and we were off.***

The guys were looking at a Maxim magazine filled with girls in sexy outfits, if any outfits at all. I heard this comment in the van: “Looking at your girlfriend after looking at models is never the quite the same¿it’s like looking at Jaguars, then looking at a Honda Civic.” Females, cars, superior, inferior. I heard it with my own ears, and boy, does it hurt. I was laughing on the outside but crying on the inside. Being a Honda Civic sucks. (Low maintenance and reliable, low gas mileage.)

Saskatchewan Is In Canada, You LoserIf you look on a map of North America, Winnipeg is the dead center of the continent.more by Ed Templeton

I flew into the tour from Australia, right from one tour into another. My body was thrashed and trying to recover from a bad heel bruise, among other things. I was picked up at the airport in Winnipeg, Manitoba by Jai from the skateshop and driven directly to the demo. When I got there, Jamie lifted up his pantleg to show me a heinous gouge in his shin. It was basically a thin scab covering a cesspool of pus and blood¿it looked pretty rough. I realized that everybody had been on this Canada tour for two weeks already. Their bodies were thrashed, too.

From a plane, Manitoba is flat as far as the eye can see. The great North American plains stretch in all directions. Grasslands, prairie, and farmland checker the earth like a pixelated photograph. Winnipeg juts out from the flatness like a fungal growth. Old-style streets and houses create the impression of a bygone time¿a time of gaslamps, saloons, and “middle of continent” lives in harder times. It feels classic.

I woke up the first morning in a shabby but nice inn and took my shower with a razor-sharp stream of water that shot hard and seemingly right through the skin. I spent an eternity waiting for everyone to return from eating in the attached restaurant. I stood outside in the dry and chilling wind that harshed across this open plain. The straightforward, open, bright sunlight is like nowhere else.

I talked with Brad Staba and got reaquatinted with his constant psychological jabs and incessant complaining. He rants repetitively about funny and useless things that occupy his warped brain. Ethan has mutton-chop sideburns partially veiled by his moppy black hair that covers his eyes but not his pointy nose. He wears his feelings on the outside and can be caustic at times, but he’s usually mellow.

We started out on the road west towards Regina, passing grasslands populated by crows, geese, and ducks. Farm equipment, grain silos, trucks and tractors, power lines, and roadkills of deer and elk¿these are the predominant images. We race down a two-lane road, passing cars in opposing traffic on the open roads of Saskatchewan.

Spazzy D And Doctor Disc

Once in a great while something comes over someone like a disease, taking over completely. Ethan Fowler, who is generally quite serious, set about one night on a rant about how much the music Brad was listening to on his boom box sucked. It was some sort of electronic music with no lyrics¿kinda technoish. Ethan was blasting Brad’s music apart, giving it a verbal scalding and trying to explain how stupid it sounds. Brad was laughing at him and thriving off of his negative energy. Ethan started acting out what a freak who likes this music would look like. He tied a CD onto his head with a red shoelace and danced around, doing experimental art dance interpretations.

For Ethan this was a little out of character, but for Brad the fun was just starting. Brad also started acting out what a freak who likes the music Ethan was listening to would look like. He ripped his shirt into a half-shirt and used the rest for a headband. He and Ethan then danced like maniacs as Deanna drove and everyone else just sat there like nothing was going on. The two got out of control, and the disease set in. They created alter egos for their new personalities¿Brad was “Spazzy D” and Ethan was “Doctor Disc,” two performers who were on tour doing concerts of dance and techno music.

Their minds changed, and they became these characters. They acted as if there was a stadium filled with adoring fans cheering for them as they spazzed out in the van to blaring techno. Each song had a different dance performance. When we stopped for gas, Spazzy D and Doctor Disc burst out of the van, boombox in hand, and went right into an encore performance in public for the other van and all who cared to watch. Like I said, for Brad this behavior is normal, but for Ethan it was very different. No one could believe what was going on, and what could cause Ethan to dive off the deep end into Brad’s world. It’s unexplained.

The Crowd Goes Wild For

Jamie Thomas¿Benihannas, kickflip five-0s.

Ethan Fowler¿backside noseblunt slides.

Alex Gall¿powend driven directly to the demo. When I got there, Jamie lifted up his pantleg to show me a heinous gouge in his shin. It was basically a thin scab covering a cesspool of pus and blood¿it looked pretty rough. I realized that everybody had been on this Canada tour for two weeks already. Their bodies were thrashed, too.

From a plane, Manitoba is flat as far as the eye can see. The great North American plains stretch in all directions. Grasslands, prairie, and farmland checker the earth like a pixelated photograph. Winnipeg juts out from the flatness like a fungal growth. Old-style streets and houses create the impression of a bygone time¿a time of gaslamps, saloons, and “middle of continent” lives in harder times. It feels classic.

I woke up the first morning in a shabby but nice inn and took my shower with a razor-sharp stream of water that shot hard and seemingly right through the skin. I spent an eternity waiting for everyone to return from eating in the attached restaurant. I stood outside in the dry and chilling wind that harshed across this open plain. The straightforward, open, bright sunlight is like nowhere else.

I talked with Brad Staba and got reaquatinted with his constant psychological jabs and incessant complaining. He rants repetitively about funny and useless things that occupy his warped brain. Ethan has mutton-chop sideburns partially veiled by his moppy black hair that covers his eyes but not his pointy nose. He wears his feelings on the outside and can be caustic at times, but he’s usually mellow.

We started out on the road west towards Regina, passing grasslands populated by crows, geese, and ducks. Farm equipment, grain silos, trucks and tractors, power lines, and roadkills of deer and elk¿these are the predominant images. We race down a two-lane road, passing cars in opposing traffic on the open roads of Saskatchewan.

Spazzy D And Doctor Disc

Once in a great while something comes over someone like a disease, taking over completely. Ethan Fowler, who is generally quite serious, set about one night on a rant about how much the music Brad was listening to on his boom box sucked. It was some sort of electronic music with no lyrics¿kinda technoish. Ethan was blasting Brad’s music apart, giving it a verbal scalding and trying to explain how stupid it sounds. Brad was laughing at him and thriving off of his negative energy. Ethan started acting out what a freak who likes this music would look like. He tied a CD onto his head with a red shoelace and danced around, doing experimental art dance interpretations.

For Ethan this was a little out of character, but for Brad the fun was just starting. Brad also started acting out what a freak who likes the music Ethan was listening to would look like. He ripped his shirt into a half-shirt and used the rest for a headband. He and Ethan then danced like maniacs as Deanna drove and everyone else just sat there like nothing was going on. The two got out of control, and the disease set in. They created alter egos for their new personalities¿Brad was “Spazzy D” and Ethan was “Doctor Disc,” two performers who were on tour doing concerts of dance and techno music.

Their minds changed, and they became these characters. They acted as if there was a stadium filled with adoring fans cheering for them as they spazzed out in the van to blaring techno. Each song had a different dance performance. When we stopped for gas, Spazzy D and Doctor Disc burst out of the van, boombox in hand, and went right into an encore performance in public for the other van and all who cared to watch. Like I said, for Brad this behavior is normal, but for Ethan it was very different. No one could believe what was going on, and what could cause Ethan to dive off the deep end into Brad’s world. It’s unexplained.

The Crowd Goes Wild For

Jamie Thomas¿Benihannas, kickflip five-0s.

Ethan Fowler¿backside noseblunt slides.

Alex Gall¿power.

Daniel Shimizu¿frontside hurricanes.

Judd Hertzler¿fly-outs to wall jam.

Austin Stephens¿270 ollie to backside lipslides.

Tony DaSilva¿kickflip melons, 360 flips.

Brian Anderson¿hurricanes, bluntslides.

Brad Staba¿tailslide fakies, frontside flips.

Adrian Lopez¿frontside bluntslide shove-its.

Mike Ruscyck¿”He went off a bank and up onto this thing then back into the bank, and the crowd went, ‘Yay!'”¿Deanna, when I asked her what trick Mike did.

Jon West¿long feeble grinds.

Ed Templeton¿impossible tailgrabs, noseblunt slides.

Encapsulated Memories

Jamie Thomas¿made many stops to scout out rails when people wanted to eat.

Ethan Fowler¿created a song about Jamie called “Grinding A Handrail To Heaven” based on a Led Zeppelin tune.

Alex Gall¿a time bomb.

Daniel Shimizu¿Brad just called him “Tech Deck” the whole tour because he brought a Tech Deck picnic table to use in the van. He also bought a guitar that Ethan played most of the time.

Judd Hertzler¿the gentle giant is always mellow in the corner.

Austin Stephens¿read his Bible at night and got addicted to Rice Krispy treats.

Tony DaSilva¿pooped in the van on a paper plate, but claimed, “I’m not that guy!” Listens to Frank Sinatra in the van.

Brian Anderson¿beer and headphones to relieve the pain.

Brad Staba¿unstable mental problems caused him to spread abuse all over the tour.

Adrian Lopez¿Metallica in headphones, girl trouble.

Mike Ruscyck¿aggravated Ethan.

Jon West¿tobacco consumption and Vancouver skate-spot tour guide.

Ed Templeton¿shotgun-hoarder who made a nature-viewing stop when people wanted to eat.

Memories Used To Sum Up This Article

Road from Banff National Park to Kamloops¿300 miles of winding two-lane roads through four national parks and stunning wilderness. Snow is pocketed everywhere, and the spring melt is starting. The rivers look icy-cold and clear, turning bright luminescent turquoise when running over sandy bottoms. Some parts of the rivers are still frozen, as are some mountain lakes we pass. The mountains are cloaked in evergreen lodge-pole pines.

In Glacier National Park a large black bear crossed the road in front of a steaming semi-truck, creating a close call. We watched the bear run across the steep hillside going down just past the right shoulder. We pulled over and stopped just in time to see the behind of the bear as it ran off into the woods.

What does this have to do with skateboarding, exactly?

Tum-Yeto is a collection of the companies Zero, Foundation, and Toy Machine. The riders of each of those teams often travel together. I get the feeling that it’s a family. There are disputes and quarrels like any family, but the common thread of being a skateboarder and riding for a parent company has created bonds throughout the years.

I personally have worked and skated with all of these people so many times that I feel a real kinship. I hope the others feel the same way. This tour felt like home. Coming into the middle of it might have been hard, but with the histories I have with these people it was like a family reunion.

The demos in Canada are always big events with large and appreciative crowds. We skaters feel loved and want to skate hard for the fans. This creates an overall great tour each time we go to Canada. Our tour ended in Vancouver, British Columbia at the Slam City Jam skateboard contest. The skaters who didn’t want to enter the contest attacked the city on filming missions, and the rest settled in to do battle at the competition. It’s a great feeling to have crossed the second-largest country by car from the Atlantic to the Pacific, stopping only to eat, sleep, or skateboard with friends.

power.

Daniel Shimizu¿frontside hurricanes.

Judd Hertzler¿fly-outs to wall jam.

Austin Stephens¿270 ollie to backside lipslides.

Tony DaSilva¿kickflip melons, 360 flips.

Brian Anderson¿hurricanes, bluntslides.

Brad Staba¿tailslide fakies, frontside flips.

Adrian Lopez¿frontside bluntslide shove-its.

Mike Ruscyck¿”He went off a bank and up onto this thing then back into the bank, and the crowd went, ‘Yay!'”¿Deanna, when I asked her what trick Mike did.

Jon West¿long feeble grinds.

Ed Templeton¿impossible tailgrabs, noseblunt slides.

Encapsulated Memories

Jamie Thomas¿made many stops to scout out rails when people wanted to eat.

Ethan Fowler¿created a song about Jamie called “Grinding A Handrail To Heaven” based on a Led Zeppelin tune.

Alex Gall¿a time bomb.

Daniel Shimizu¿Brad just called him “Tech Deck” the whole tour because he brought a Tech Deck picnic table to use in the van. He also bought a guitar that Ethan played most of the time.

Judd Hertzler¿the gentle giant is always mellow in the corner.

Austin Stephens¿read his Bible at night and got addicted to Rice Krispy treats.

Tony DaSilva¿pooped in the van on a paper plate, but claimed, “I’m not that guy!” Listens to Frank Sinatra in the van.

Brian Anderson¿beer and headphones to relieve the pain.

Brad Staba¿unstable mental problems caused him to spread abuse all over the tour.

Adrian Lopez¿Metallica in headphones, girl trouble.

Mike Ruscyck¿aggravated Ethan.

Jon West¿tobacco consumption and Vancouver skate-spot tour guide.

Ed Templeton¿shotgun-hoarder who made a nature-viewing stop when people wanted to eat.

Memories Used To Sum Up This Article

Road from Banff National Park to Kamloops¿300 miles of winding two-lane roads through four national parks and stunning wilderness. Snow is pocketed everywhere, and the spring melt is starting. The rivers look icy-cold and clear, turning bright luminescent turquoise when running over sandy bottoms. Some parts of the rivers are still frozen, as are some mountain lakes we pass. The mountains are cloaked in evergreen lodge-pole pines.

In Glacier National Park a large black bear crossed the road in front of a steaming semi-truck, creating a close call. We watched the bear run across the steep hillside going down just past the right shoulder. We pulled over and stopped just in time to see the behind of the bear as it ran off into the woods.

What does this have to do with skateboarding, exactly?

Tum-Yeto is a collection of the companies Zero, Foundation, and Toy Machine. The riders of each of those teams often travel together. I get the feeling that it’s a family. There are disputes and quarrels like any family, but the common thread of being a skateboarder and riding for a parent company has created bonds throughout the years.

I personally have worked and skated with all of these people so many times that I feel a real kinship. I hope the others feel the same way. This tour felt like home. Coming into the middle of it might have been hard, but with the histories I have with these people it was like a family reunion.

The demos in Canada are always big events with large and appreciative crowds. We skaters feel loved and want to skate hard for the fans. This creates an overall great tour each time we go to Canada. Our tour ended in Vancouver, British Columbia at the Slam City Jam skateboard contest. The skaters who didn’t want to enter the contest attacked the city on filming missions, and the rest settled in to do battle at the competition. It’s a great feeling to have crossed the second-largest country by car from the Atlantic to the Pacific, stopping only to eat, sleep, or skateboard with friends.