Brad Staba Pro Spotlight

Brad Staba is a skateboard veteran, and he’s only nineteen. He deserves the Purple Heart for sacrificing his body (nearly his life) while enjoying the activity he loves more than anything else skateboarding.

Brad is a very witty (mostly sarcastic) human being. Not many people can understand his humor, and oftentimes this leads to bad first impressions of Mr. Staba. Give him a chance, and you’ll end up with a good friend.

Brad is highly focused. Even though he doesn’t have all that many bad days on his skateboard, the slightest malfunction can turn this happy-go-lucky character into Mr. Grumps. While recovering from his liver injury, Mr. Grumps showed up at many a photo session. These days it looks as though Mr. Grumps has gone away.

Brad is creative. While most professional skateboarders tend to skate, party, eat, and sleep in, Brad is expanding his knowledge of the world through photography. And from what I’ve seen, he definitely has a future in that field.

Brad Staba is a good person. His relationships with his mom and his friends come first in his life. I am proud to be Brad’s friend.

Brad rips. Soak it all in. Dave Swift

Where did you grow up? I grew up in Ohio. I grew up in the snow.

What part of Ohio?

Cleveland.

Is that where you started skating?

Yeah. The guy across the street gave me a Ninja board, and I started schralpin’, you know? Then I moved on to my Santa Cruz Slasher.

Were you born in Ohio?

Yeah.

What year were you born?

1979.

You’re just a kid!

Shut up! I’m a man. In September I’ll be twenty.

Do you think people think you’re older? People ask me how old I am, and when I tell them I’m nineteen, they’re shocked or something. I feel like I look like a younger guy.

Yeah. You look young, but I would have thought you were older, too, just because of how long ago I saw your first photo in a magazine.

Was it in TransWorld?

I remember a photo of you on Market Street in San Francisco a long time ago.

I was doing a frontside noseslide down a ledge.

Didn’t Tobin Yelland shoot that photo?

Yeah, probably.

How old were you then?

I was young fifteen.

Why did you move out to California?

I wanted to skateboard a lot, and my mom was down for that. I also wanted to move out here because the weather is good.

You guys basically moved out here because you wanted to skate?

Yeah. Plus, there really wasn’t anything going on. My mom wasn’t really stoked on it Ohio maybe she was, but she didn’t say anything to me. A lot of stuff went down, and moving seemed like a good thing to do. You know, a fresh start. I was so stoked. First we moved to Walnut Creek a small city outside San Francisco and lived there for a year. Then we lived in Oakland for three or four years. I live in Walnut Creek again, because … I don’t know why. It sucks here.

Explain why you live in Walnut Creek instead of the city.

It’s kinda mellow. People keep to themselves. There’s not a lot of lurkers walking around asking you for money. And when you go to the city and skate all day, it’s good to come back here and relax. But at the same time, I’m pretty stoked on the city, and I’ve been skating there a lot. I’m definitely going to move to San Francisco eventually. There’s definitely some scuz going, though. You’ve got to wash your hands a lot.

What’s the NorCal vibe?

People just skate up here. They skate their asses off and they want to skate, as opposed to attacking everything in an extreme way. I’m not saying that’s bad …

Is that how people from NorCal look at the skaters down south?

I think so. They think Southern California skaters just go film and shoot photos every day. I don’t want to say; it’s hard to actually know unless you live there. I like it in both places.

Up there, you’ve got hills and a lot of skateparks. Down here, you’ve got suburban skating schoolyds. What else goes on in the life of Brad Staba?

I take a lot of photos.

Why?

Because I’m into it. I like to create. I like to mess around and make a lot of stuff. I’ve been taking a lot of Polaroids. Me and Brian Anderson have been doing all this stuff with Polaroids. We’ve been shooting packs and packs of Polaroids. At twenty bucks a two-pack, I’m broke.

You probably don’t have a large bank account. You seem to spend all the money you get.

I’m trying to save right now; I’m usually pretty good with money. I have some money, but I’m not rich. I definitely spend too much money buying camera gear and developing photos.

What would you say you’ve spent on camera equipment in the last year?

I don’t know, probably seven-grand or so. I bought all this camera equipment and these kids broke in my house and stole all my shit.

What happened?

These two kids who live in Concord the next town over from Walnut Creek called information for Brian Anderson and figured out where we lived. They broke into our house and stole like twenty boards, all my camera equipment, and my video camera. A couple days later, Brian bumped into some skater kids who knew who stole our stuff. We ended up getting our stuff back. The kids were so brave, they filmed themselves skating with my video camera and left the tape in it. So now I’ve got this awesome footage of these really smart kids.

Are you going to use it somewhere?

I’m definitely going to use it somewhere, because they look like complete assholes.

That’s awesome you got it back.

I’m stoked, but the whole ordeal freaked me out. These kids were filming themselves in some backyard with a nice pool it didn’t seem like they needed to steal my shit. They’re screwed right now. I think they broke into Wade Speyer’s house and stole some stuff from him.

Before or after?

After.

They’ve been caught?

Definitely. Wade thinks it’s them, and I think it’s them, so these kids are definitely bumming some people out around here.

Those kids are going to wind up dead somewhere.

Yeah, those kids aren’t going to be too stoked.

What’s the Brad Staba terrain of choice?

I just like skating around.

For a while there, weren’t you the handrail guy?

Yeah. I skate handrails a lot. Not as much as I used to, but I definitely skate them. I have a lot of fun skating them. I like to skate everything. Frontside, backside, switch, fakie.

Let’s hear about Petaluma.

Oh, we’ve got to talk about that? I went to Petaluma, grinded a bar, landed on my stomach, and cut my liver open. I’m 100-percent all right now.

How long did that take you out of skateboarding for? Most of last year. I feel like I’ve got my shit together now. I’ve been skating so much. I just go to a spot and I freak out because there’s so much to skate. I go crazy and stuff. I love it.

Isn’t it weird how, in skateboarding, you can get hurt and not be around for six months and people forget who you are? They just think you fell off the end of the world.

Is that what happened to me?

I don’t know. Didn’t you say your sponsors were wondering about you when they knew you were hurt?

I was still getting coverage when I was hurt, but not as much. My sponsors were bummed, definitely.

I guess they just got used to how much Staba coverage there was.

You’ve got to realize that what happened was a pretty gnarly thing.

Yeah, you could have died.

I got through it, and I hope everybody is stoked now.

Did Brian Anderson help you through it?

I can’t even tell you how much he did for me. I appreciate it more than anything. I was bummed for a while, and I got really depressed because I couldn’t skate and he was out there manhandling anything. I wanted to be skating next to him. It was hard, but he definitely helped me out a lot.

I heard you guys are breaking up. Laughter

Yeah, we haven’t had any fights or anything, it’s just that it would be better if we were apart and saw other people.

Any other hopefuls?

Yeah, definitely.

Are you going to be traveling this year?

I think I’m going to go to Europe this summer. Hopefully I’ll be around here more. I’m never around here much in the summer, and I feel like I want to skate around here while the weather’s nice.

It’s not that easy to skate in Northern California in the winter, is it?

No. You’ve got to skate in the rain. It makes me really appreciate the good weather we’re having right now. I’ve been having a lot of fun skating. Rain is all right, though.

What about your sarcastic wit.

What about it?

Do you think people get the wrong idea from the way you say stuff to them?

Definitely, I’m misunderstood and it sucks so bad for me. I mean no harm at all, I just laugh at everything. Anderson’s on the same level, he just doesn’t talk that much. I think people definitely take stuff too seriously, but it’s other people who think I’m lame. I don’t mean any harm, I’m just trying to have some fun.

When you started skating, who did you look up to? What got you psyched on skating?

It was the act of skating, pretty much. I’ve been skating since I was eight, but I never watched videos or read magazines, I just skated. It’s weird because people are like, “You’ve skated that long, and you don’t know who this guy is?” I was never into it like that. I would just go skate with people around my house.

You never looked up to anybody?

I did, you know. I liked Todd Congelierre a lot. I think Mark Gonzales is amazing. Neil Blender was one of my favorite skaters.

When did you know that you were really into skateboarding?

When I moved out here with my mom.

And you were pretty free to travel back then.

I had home-study, so I could travel around.

No school?

I went to school once in a while. In home-study You have to go a certain amount of times.

You got whatever you wanted, huh? No.

Have you ever worn any female undergarments?

Never worn any of those. I’ve worn a pair of Brian’s size-thirteen Axion shoes.

For skating?

No, just for cruising around the house.

Are you glad you don’t have a size-thirteen foot?

He’s still growing, too; I think he’s a size-fourteen now.

What is your life philosophy?

I’m just really into cruising around. You know, whatever happens, happens.

Are you into filming?

Not really.

Why not?

It just doesn’t seem natural. It stresses me out. I mean, if it’s there, if someone is there filming while you’re shooting a photo, that’s cool, but it’s really hard for me to just go out and film.

So you wouldn’t feel like you’re missing out if you did something really awesome and nobody filmed it?

No. It happens all the time. All the stuff I’m filming now, I’ve already done. Now I’ve just got to go back and do it again. I enjoy taking photos way more because I understand what’s going down.

What’s better, being am or pro?

Pro.

Even though you’ve got to film?

Definitely. It’s so fun being a skateboarder for a job.

But all the freedom gets lost.

It does get lost, but it was around for so long, I don’t miss it at all. If I do, it will only be for a second, but then it’s gone.

Pro skateboarder versus real-world job?

Pro skateboarder, definitely. I’ve never had a real job. I was thinking about going to get a job, then quitting a couple of days later, just to see if I can get it.

You’ve never had a real job?

Never. Is that weird?

No.

Cool.

Did you ever used to skate Embarcadero?

Yeah. I’ve got a piece of The Gonz Gap in my trunk. I went there when they were tearing it down and got a chunk of it with some rebar sticking out.

What are you going to do with it?

Keep it, I guess.<, we haven't had any fights or anything, it's just that it would be better if we were apart and saw other people.

Any other hopefuls?

Yeah, definitely.

Are you going to be traveling this year?

I think I’m going to go to Europe this summer. Hopefully I’ll be around here more. I’m never around here much in the summer, and I feel like I want to skate around here while the weather’s nice.

It’s not that easy to skate in Northern California in the winter, is it?

No. You’ve got to skate in the rain. It makes me really appreciate the good weather we’re having right now. I’ve been having a lot of fun skating. Rain is all right, though.

What about your sarcastic wit.

What about it?

Do you think people get the wrong idea from the way you say stuff to them?

Definitely, I’m misunderstood and it sucks so bad for me. I mean no harm at all, I just laugh at everything. Anderson’s on the same level, he just doesn’t talk that much. I think people definitely take stuff too seriously, but it’s other people who think I’m lame. I don’t mean any harm, I’m just trying to have some fun.

When you started skating, who did you look up to? What got you psyched on skating?

It was the act of skating, pretty much. I’ve been skating since I was eight, but I never watched videos or read magazines, I just skated. It’s weird because people are like, “You’ve skated that long, and you don’t know who this guy is?” I was never into it like that. I would just go skate with people around my house.

You never looked up to anybody?

I did, you know. I liked Todd Congelierre a lot. I think Mark Gonzales is amazing. Neil Blender was one of my favorite skaters.

When did you know that you were really into skateboarding?

When I moved out here with my mom.

And you were pretty free to travel back then.

I had home-study, so I could travel around.

No school?

I went to school once in a while. In home-study You have to go a certain amount of times.

You got whatever you wanted, huh? No.

Have you ever worn any female undergarments?

Never worn any of those. I’ve worn a pair of Brian’s size-thirteen Axion shoes.

For skating?

No, just for cruising around the house.

Are you glad you don’t have a size-thirteen foot?

He’s still growing, too; I think he’s a size-fourteen now.

What is your life philosophy?

I’m just really into cruising around. You know, whatever happens, happens.

Are you into filming?

Not really.

Why not?

It just doesn’t seem natural. It stresses me out. I mean, if it’s there, if someone is there filming while you’re shooting a photo, that’s cool, but it’s really hard for me to just go out and film.

So you wouldn’t feel like you’re missing out if you did something really awesome and nobody filmed it?

No. It happens all the time. All the stuff I’m filming now, I’ve already done. Now I’ve just got to go back and do it again. I enjoy taking photos way more because I understand what’s going down.

What’s better, being am or pro?

Pro.

Even though you’ve got to film?

Definitely. It’s so fun being a skateboarder for a job.

But all the freedom gets lost.

It does get lost, but it was around for so long, I don’t miss it at all. If I do, it will only be for a second, but then it’s gone.

Pro skateboarder versus real-world job?

Pro skateboarder, definitely. I’ve never had a real job. I was thinking about going to get a job, then quitting a couple of days later, just to see if I can get it.

You’ve never had a real job?

Never. Is that weird?

No.

Cool.

Did you ever used to skate Embarcadero?

Yeah. I’ve got a piece of The Gonz Gap in my trunk. I went there when they were tearing it down and got a chunk of it with some rebar sticking out.

What are you going to do with it?

Keep it, I guess.

Why do you have a piece of The Gonz?

It was a fun thing to skate. pause I don’t like cheese in a can.

Cheese in a can? You mean Cheez Wiz? I liked it at first, but it’s pretty gnarly if you think about it.

What do you eat?

I don’t eat any meat whatsoever. I only eat good food. I eat fruit and crackers, I eat candy five-pound bags of sour gummy worms they last about a day. I eat a lot of tofu and vegetarian cuisine. There’s a Chinese restaurant in Berkeley I like. We eat there a lot. I like falafel and stuff, too.

Speaking of food, you’ve got a pretty awesome chef living with you.

Brian? Definitely. Remember those roasted potatoes? Those were awesome.

You should’ve married Brian when you had the chance. Laughter

I just took advantage of what I had. He’s a good dude.

What about Benecia?

It’s pretty rad.

What about music? You’ve got some pretty funny music tastes.

I’ve got some Bjork right here; and right next to that, I’ve got The Breeders; and next to that, I’ve got De La Soul. I’m listening to a band called The Swirlies. I like so many different kinds of music.

Have you ever played an instrument?

I played the drums for four years, back when I lived in Ohio. But I had to sell them because I couldn’t have them in an apartment. It was fun, though. I wish I still had a set of drums.

Why don’t you?

Because I can’t play them in my apartment. Why do you think I’ve got funny taste in music?

All the kids think you’re into Huey Lewis, but I guess that’s just Brad Staba humor. I skated a pool yesterday.

Who did you skate it with?

Just some friends, and some gnar dogs.

Do you skate every day?

Yeah, totally. I feel the need to skate every day.

Who are you sponsored by?

Foundation, Independent trucks, Pig wheels, FTC skateboard shop in San Francisco, and Bones Swiss bearings. Those guys are rad, their bearings are so fast. They last forever. I get shoes from Emerica; I think I ride for them, but I don’t get any cash, so it doesn’t seem like I do. I ride their shoes all the time, and they’re pretty rad.

Are you going to see Stars Wars?

No.

What do you think about people who wait in line for Star Wars tickets?

I think they have the most awesome lives, ever. I know this guy in the city who collects action figures and stuff. You’ve got to be pretty stoked on Star Wars. I’ll check it out, but I won’t be there the first night.

What about people dying?

It’s been pretty intense. Four days ago, I went to the service for Tim Brauch. It definitely puts you in check. Tim was rad, and it’s just crazy how it went down.

Did you see him a couple days before in Vancouver?

Yeah, and he was ripping. It just seemed crazy. A lot of people liked him. At the funeral, they played some footage from the day he died, and he did some awesome stuff. But people die, and it sucks. Phil Shao, another rad guy. And Ruben Orkin, too.

Who are some people you think are rad?

Elissa Steamer is rad. I think Berra goes off. I also like Steve Olson, Sean Sheffey, and Mike Maldonado. I like the way Cardiel skates, too he just attacks any obstacle.

What about contests? Are they good?

Yeah, but I don’t think I can get my stuff together. I’m a spaz. I just get really nervous. I used to throw up every day, but when I got hurt I stopped throwing up.

I watched you practice in Vancouver, if you get all your tricks together maybe you could take one of those things.

I’ll try to work on it. Maybe I’ll go to Europe and be able to skate a little bit.

What have you learned living with the World Champion Brian won in Münster last year?

I don’t know. He’s got some weird thing going on, I don’t get it.

Do you guys train every day?

Yeah, we go to the park and jog.

Is that what pro skaters do: wake up early, go running, and get their hearts checkked? How much do you pay for your personal trainer every month?

A hundred-sixty bucks. But that’s just for Tuesdays and Thursdays. Imagine if I had a personal trainer.

I’ll bet snowboarders have personal trainers.

I bet.

What about your personal assistant?

Come on, I’m just some dude.

How come you don’t have a car?

I’ve never had one. I don’t know.

Do you want one?

Not really. I like the BART Bay Area Rapid Transit S.F. public transportation.

It kinda keeps you in Northern California, doesn’t it?

Yeah, totally. I like living here; it’s cool just cruising around. There’s so much rad stuff to skate, and the water’s right there.

Have you been surfing a lot?

Hella.

Hella’s not a surf term.

What would be a surf term?

Totally or fully. Yeah! Fully, bro.

Do you have any pets?

No pets. I’ve got some rad photos at my house. I’ve got a painting that Brian did of some scuz with a mullet.

If you organized a tour, which five people would you invite?

Brian, Ed Templeton, Berra, Scott Bourne, and probably Elissa or Maldonado.

You can also get two photographers and one video guy to come with you.

The two photographers would be you and Gabe Morford, and video would be Ty Evans.

What kind of car would you drive?

We’d have a nice, mellow van.

Where would you go?

I’d maybe go to Philly then to New York, you know, keep it real and shit. Have you seen that movie Delicatessen?

Yeah.

Did you like it?

It’s kind of weird. I guess I liked it. I wasn’t stoned out of my mind, though.

Neither was I. I don’t do that kind of stuff. I have my life together, and I don’t need … I used to smoke a lot, but I’ve chilled out a bunch.

I haven’t smoked a cigarette in a while.

That’s good.

Brian’s probably smoking cigarettes right now. He’s smoking some Wu-Ports.

Newports?

Wu-Ports. And how is it, any time you look on the ground no matter where you are and see a pack of cigarettes, it’s always a pack of Newports?

I always see Marlboros. Who would you like to thank?

I’d like to thank Tod Swank and Josh Beagle a lot, Anderson, my mom, all my friends, you, Morford, and Humphries, all the dudes, my friend Greg Gardener. I like Jon Humphries, he’s a cool guy.

b>Why do you have a piece of The Gonz?

It was a fun thing to skate. pause I don’t like cheese in a can.

Cheese in a can? You mean Cheez Wiz? I liked it at first, but it’s pretty gnarly if you think about it.

What do you eat?

I don’t eat any meat whatsoever. I only eat good food. I eat fruit and crackers, I eat candy five-pound bags of sour gummy worms they last about a day. I eat a lot of tofu and vegetarian cuisine. There’s a Chinese restaurant in Berkeley I like. We eat there a lot. I like falafel and stuff, too.

Speaking of food, you’ve got a pretty awesome chef living with you.

Brian? Definitely. Remember those roasted potatoes? Those were awesome.

You should’ve married Brian when you had the chance. Laughter

I just took advantage of what I had. He’s a good dude.

What about Benecia?

It’s pretty rad.

What about music? You’ve got some pretty funny music tastes.

I’ve got some Bjork right here; and right next to that, I’ve got The Breeders; and next to that, I’ve got De La Soul. I’m listening to a band called The Swirlies. I like so many different kinds of music.

Have you ever played an instrument?

I played the drums for four years, back when I lived in Ohio. But I had to sell them because I couldn’t have them in an apartment. It was fun, though. I wish I still had a set of drums.

Why don’t you?

Because I can’t play them in my apartment. Why do you think I’ve got funny taste in music?

All the kids think you’re into Huey Lewis, but I guess that’s just Brad Staba humor. I skated a pool yesterday.

Who did you skate it with?

Just some friends, and some gnar dogs.

Do you skate every day?

Yeah, totally. I feel the need to skate every day.

Who are you sponsored by?

Foundation, Independent trucks, Pig wheels, FTC skateboard shop in San Francisco, and Bones Swiss bearings. Those guys are rad, their bearings are so fast. They last forever. I get shoes from Emerica; I think I ride for them, but I don’t get any cash, so it doesn’t seem like I do. I ride their shoes all the time, and they’re pretty rad.

Are you going to see Stars Wars?

No.

What do you think about people who wait in line for Star Wars tickets?

I think they have the most awesome lives, ever. I know this guy in the city who collects action figures and stuff. You’ve got to be pretty stoked on Star Wars. I’ll check it out, but I won’t be there the first night.

What about people dying?

It’s been pretty intense. Four days ago, I went to the service for Tim Brauch. It definitely puts you in check. Tim was rad, and it’s just crazy how it went down.

Did you see him a couple days before in Vancouver?

Yeah, and he was ripping. It just seemed crazy. A lot of people liked him. At the funeral, they played some footage from the day he died, and he did some awesome stuff. But people die, and it sucks. Phil Shao, another rad guy. And Ruben Orkin, too.

Who are some people you think are rad?

Elissa Steamer is rad. I think Berra goes off. I also like Steve Olson, Sean Sheffey, and Mike Maldonado. I like the way Cardiel skates, too he just attacks any obstacle.

What about contests? Are they good?

Yeah, but I don’t think I can get my stuff together. I’m a spaz. I just get really nervous. I used to throw up every day, but when I got hurt I stopped throwing up.

I watched you practice in Vancouver, if you get all your tricks together maybe you could take one of those things.

I’ll try to work on it. Maybe I’ll go to Europe and be able to skate a little bit.

What have you learned living with the World Champion Brian won in Münster last year?

I don’t know. He’s got some weird thing going on, I don’t get it.

Do you guys train every day?

Yeah, we go to the park and jog.

Is that what pro skaters do: wake up early, go running, and get their hearts checked? How much do you pay for your personal trainer every month?

A hundred-sixty bucks. But that’s just for Tuesdays and Thursdays. Imagine if I had a personal trainer.

I’ll bet snowboarders have personal trainers.

I bet.

What about your personal assistant?

Come on, I’m just some dude.

How come you don’t have a car?

I’ve never had one. I don’t know.

Do you want one?

Not really. I like the BART Bay Area Rapid Transit S.F. public transportation.

It kinda keeps you in Northern California, doesn’t it?

Yeah, totally. I like living here; it’s cool just cruising around. There’s so much rad stuff to skate, and the water’s right there.

Have you been surfing a lot?

Hella.

Hella’s not a surf term.

What would be a surf term?

Totally or fully. Yeah! Fully, bro.

Do you have any pets?

No pets. I’ve got some rad photos at my house. I’ve got a painting that Brian did of some scuz with a mullet.

If you organized a tour, which five people would you invite?

Brian, Ed Templeton, Berra, Scott Bourne, and probably Elissa or Maldonado.

You can also get two photographers and one video guy to come with you.

The two photographers would be you and Gabe Morford, and video would be Ty Evans.

What kind of car would you drive?

We’d have a nice, mellow van.

Where would you go?

I’d maybe go to Philly then to New York, you know, keep it real and shit. Have you seen that movie Delicatessen?

Yeah.

Did you like it?

It’s kind of weird. I guess I liked it. I wasn’t stoned out of my mind, though.

Neither was I. I don’t do that kind of stuff. I have my life together, and I don’t need … I used to smoke a lot, but I’ve chilled out a bunch.

I haven’t smoked a cigarette in a while.

That’s good.

Brian’s probably smoking cigarettes right now. He’s smoking some Wu-Ports.

Newports?

Wu-Ports. And how is it, any time you look on the ground no matter where you are and see a pack of cigarettes, it’s always a pack of Newports?

I always see Marlboros. Who would you like to thank?

I’d like to thank Tod Swank and Josh Beagle a lot, Anderson, my mom, all my friends, you, Morford, and Humphries, all the dudes, my friend Greg Gardener. I like Jon Humphries, he’s a cool guy.

hearts checked? How much do you pay for your personal trainer every month?

A hundred-sixty bucks. But that’s just for Tuesdays and Thursdays. Imagine if I had a personal trainer.

I’ll bet snowboarders have personal trainers.

I bet.

What about your personal assistant?

Come on, I’m just some dude.

How come you don’t have a car?

I’ve never had one. I don’t know.

Do you want one?

Not really. I like the BART Bay Area Rapid Transit S.F. public transportation.

It kinda keeps you in Northern California, doesn’t it?

Yeah, totally. I like living here; it’s cool just cruising around. There’s so much rad stuff to skate, and the water’s right there.

Have you been surfing a lot?

Hella.

Hella’s not a surf term.

What would be a surf term?

Totally or fully. Yeah! Fully, bro.

Do you have any pets?

No pets. I’ve got some rad photos at my house. I’ve got a painting that Brian did of some scuz with a mullet.

If you organized a tour, which five people would you invite?

Brian, Ed Templeton, Berra, Scott Bourne, and probably Elissa or Maldonado.

You can also get two photographers and one video guy to come with you.

The two photographers would be you and Gabe Morford, and video would be Ty Evans.

What kind of car would you drive?

We’d have a nice, mellow van.

Where would you go?

I’d maybe go to Philly then to New York, you know, keep it real and shit. Have you seen that movie Delicatessen?

Yeah.

Did you like it?

It’s kind of weird. I guess I liked it. I wasn’t stoned out of my mind, though.

Neither was I. I don’t do that kind of stuff. I have my life together, and I don’t need … I used to smoke a lot, but I’ve chilled out a bunch.

I haven’t smoked a cigarette in a while.

That’s good.

Brian’s probably smoking cigarettes right now. He’s smoking some Wu-Ports.

Newports?

Wu-Ports. And how is it, any time you look on the ground no matter where you are and see a pack of cigarettes, it’s always a pack of Newports?

I always see Marlboros. Who would you like to thank?

I’d like to thank Tod Swank and Josh Beagle a lot, Anderson, my mom, all my friends, you, Morford, and Humphries, all the dudes, my friend Greg Gardener. I like Jon Humphries, he’s a cool guy.