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Diego Bucchieri

Age: 21

Home: Buenos Aires, Argentina

Sponsors: Think, Independent, Circuit, Race skate shop

After J. Grant Brittain viciously attacked my right knee with a hammer during what he called a “photo shoot,” I was very depressed. The doctor told me my ligament was vaporized. I needed major surgery and I couldn’t skate for a year, at least. At first I turned to alcohol and drugs to take the pain of no skating away. Eventually they hurt me more than helped me, so I turned to Jesus Christ our savior for help. He comforted me and told me that to truly be in his blissful flock, I needed to go to Argentina and turn all the poor savage heathens who live there in pagan sin to Christianity.

I guess Jesus’ world atlas is a little outdated because when I got to Buenos Aires, I didn’t see any savage heathens. Buenos Aires is a big-ass city. They have the widest streets in the world. There were skaters all over, too. The holiest one I met was this ugly guy named Diego Bucchieri. He took me to all the biggest sets of stairs and backside 180ed them or kickflip backside tailslid the handrails. He then told me the most divine phrase to convert lost souls with. It goes: “Andate a la mierda, puto.” He also taught me what to say when I got baptized: “Carajo, Jesus Cristo.” Then he got sponsored by Indy and Think, and he came to the U.S. to stay at my house and praise almighty Jesus. Hallelujah! Put a little love in your heart!–Phil Shao