Check Out: Skateboarder Shannen!

Check OutSkateboarder Shannen!

“Customer service, this is Angela, how can I help you?”

“Hi, I have a defective Skateboarder Shannen doll, and I need to get it replaced.”

“Okay, sir. Our return policy states that you should return the product where you purchased it.”

“Yeah, I already took it to them and they refused to take it back. So I’m calling you guys.”

“As long as it’s a manufacturer’s defect, we can take it back, but you’ll have to ship it to us.”

“That’s cool.”

“Hold on, sir … could you please describe the product and defect?”

“It’s the remote-control Skateboarder Shannen doll.”

“Okay, and what’s wrong with it?”

“Well, when I bought Shannen, I took her to the beach and tripped Rollerbladers with her. She worked fine and everything, so I took her to the local skatepark and had her get in the way of the skateboarders.”

“I don’t think she was designed for that, sir.”

“No kidding, she got kicked in the face by a pissed-off longboarder, and after that she started to play with fireworks and got a Thug Life tattoo.”

“Is this a joke?”

“No, just listen. After she started abusing fireworks I began to notice a change. She started behaving suicidally, skating in busy intersections and challenging cars to games of chicken.”

“Uh-huh”

“Then she started shoplifting. But the final straw came when she blew off her arm with an M-80. That’s when I realized I had a defective evil doll that was possessed by a demon.”

“I don’t think we’re going to warranty this, sir.”

“Your warranty doesn’t cover demonic possession? I’m pretty sure she was possessed before I bought her.”

“No, nice try.”

“Can you transfer me to your exorcism department?”

“Good-bye.”

“Wait! Can I at least order a wig to replace all her hair that got burnt off? Hello?” ¿Shhhhhhhhhhhhad