All right, word on the street is that you’re kind of weird, you have some serious mental problems.
(Laughs) Who told you that?
Everyone, it’s the new rumor.
Nah, I just made that up, kind of.
(Laughs) Ahh, man, is this the interview?
Yeah, this is the interview. Let’s start out by talking about the tattoo. What does it say on your arm?
Well, it’s an abbreviation that stands for “life’s too short to wuss out.”
Maybe we should just describe it for everyone.
It’s just the letters L-T-S-T-W-O and it has crosses on both sides. I was just thinking how the world was going to blow up and shit because of the war. So if Bin Laden was going to kill the President and blow up the U.S. tomorrow, I’d want to go do as much shit as I could on my skateboard. Because chances are, if I just think like it’s my last day on Earth, I’d land most of it.
Wouldn’t it be better to have it L-T-S-T-P-O?
No, there’s a difference between pussin’ out and wussin’ out.
What’s the difference?
Wussing out is just, like, thinking of stupid shit to do instead of cool shit just because it’s less scary. Where as pussing out is … actually no, it’s the other way around. Wussing out is like claiming something and going there and then wussing out. But pussing out is being a pussy all along and saying, “Oh, I just want to Smith this four-stair.”
So being a wuss is worse than being a puss?
Yeah, because being a wuss is claiming and not going after it.
Do you think your tattoo had something to do with your broken arm?
For sure, but it’s not like I regret it. Because if I died the next day, I’d be psyched I tried it.
So you’re kind of glad you broke your arm when you think about it?
Yeah, injuries teach you lessons in skating.
You can’t skate right now, right?
Not for another three weeks.
How’s the video-game career working out?
You beat Max Payne?
Grand Theft Auto Three?
Yeah, I beat that.
What game are you working on now?
Resident Evil Code Veronica, it’s gnarly. I can’t play it with the sound on because it’s so f–kin’ scary! I just turn the TV volume down and then listen to some music. It’s sketchy when all the zombies come moaning at you and shit. Hey, did you pass that part on Max Payne?
Yeah, I passed it and then got your message. But I got this new bullet-time slow-mo technique where I’ll jump into a gunfight straight at the dudes and shoot them in the balls with the shotgun. You get to see blood shoot everywhere.
Nice! It’s sick when they show ’em die in slow-mo all bleeding, like backflip off a roof to their face or something.
Yeah, so if you couldn’t skate what would you do? Video-games and what?
Good answer. Let’s tell everyone about the Ventura skateboarding carnage video you have.
(Laughing) It’s just a gnarly, gnarly video that everyone I know and myself have slams in.
All the Ventura homies?
Yeah, it’s like a twenty-minute slam section of some of the worst slams ever. We’ve been adding slams to it ever since we’ve been filming, so it’s probably like three years’ worth of slams.
It seriously has some of the gnarliest slams I’ve ever seen on it–like the reverse impaler.
That’s Dusty. He always falls onto his back with his legs tangled behind him. So he’s on his back, but his legs are stuck under him jusst spearing him in the back, then he jumps forward and just looks wrecked.
Okay, have you ever dropped in on vert?
No!? Dude, I think you’re the only am who can’t drop in on vert!
I know. Everyone has done it, but every time I go to the skatepark, I look at and it’s just too gnarly.
How is it you’ll skate a twenty-stair rail but won’t drop in?
Because I skate rails, I don’t skate vert. It’s like dropping into a tunnel or something. I feel like I’m going to fall like that guy in Virtual Reality where his glasses fall off and just land right on my face. But I’d do it if the world was going to end tomorrow.
But you got your tat now.
I know, I’m going to go do it now, as soon as my arm is better.
On a scale of one to ten, how mobbed is your kickflip?
Umm … I don’t think it’s mob. Oh wait, that one I did into the grind. Yeah, that was mob.
Yeah, that one was like a 6.8, but now you’re at a level two.
For sure. I like my kickflips, but I do have a little case of the mob, I’d probably say level three.
All right, I think we have enough stuff for the interview. How do you want to end this? Give a shout out to your sponsors?
Yeah, Maple, S-one, Billabong, Emerica flow …
Do you really want it to say flow?
No, just put Emerica, um, Shorty’s Hardware, Krux …
(Laughs) No, not Speedo.
No, no Bagel Bites. Umm, Dragon Optical and …
Mop And Glow?
Uh, sure, Mop And Glow. I seriously think I’m going to forget somebody and get unsponsored by them.
Don’t worry, if you forget someone you can call me.
All right. Oh yeah, Utility Board Shop, too. And I need to thank Dan Nichols for getting gnarly.