Last time you felt important: At my home in Portland, past pantries plaid, when on New Year’s Eve I was told by friends t’was the best they’d ever had.
Last time you envied someone: Whenever Jennifer laughs.
Last video you rented: Butcher Boy. Ay! F¿k off.
Last CD you bought: I don’t buy CDs.
Last time you wished you were dead: Last time I was hungover.
Last song you listened to: “1969” by The Stooges.
Last time you woke up not knowing where you were: Last friday, the 4th of January, I believe, so I do.
Last time you wore all black: Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now.
Last time you skipped a meal: Trying to answer that last one.
Last five books you read: Mason & Dixon by Thomas Pynchon, The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner, Thus Spake Zarathustra by Freidrich Nietzche, Make Your Own Electric Guitar by Melvyn Hiscock, Amphigorey and Amphigorey Too by Edward Gorey.
Last movie you saw in the theater: Felicia’s Journey.
Last time you broke the law: Every time I skateboard
Last magazine you subscribed to: I can’t remember ever subscribing to anything.
Last country you visited: England.
Last time you felt out of place: The last time I thought I knew my place.
Last fight you were in: Over a computer or what type to buy 1 hour 33 minutes ago. I won in the eighth round, with a smashing left hook that left her on the pier as water streams over me.
Last time you slammed: Yesturday at UCI.
Last meal you ate: Olive mushroom pizza.
Last video game you played: Ping-Pong with Josh.
Last time you said “I love you”: Just because I don’t say it doesn’t mean I don’t feel it.
Last time you gave money away: Last time I bought a Korean Fender acoustic, duh.
Last time you were arrested: November 23, ’99.
Last trick you landed: 360 kickflip to backside noseblunt slide off a roof then down a 30-stair handrail.
Last time you were inspired: When I landed a 360 kickflip to backside off a roof noseblunt slide down a handrail 31-stairs long.
Last time you stole: A Coke at Blockbuster Video a week ago.
Last time you apologized: Never. I’m always right.
Last time you felt uncomfortable: When I realized that I’m out of smokes, and the store’s far away, and I’m in San Diego, and I will fly home, and planes crash.
Last time you got ripped off: When I signed this thing for Satan.
Last time you got hurt: Ten minutes ago. I stubbed my toe getting out of the hot tub.
Last skate video you watched: Eleven days ago I watched 411.
Last time you were proud of yourself: When I landed a 360 flip off a roof to backside noseblunt slide down a 32-stair rail.
Last time you thought about giving up being pro: Eleven minutes ago, when I found 32 inconsistencies in my 43-year contract. Needless to say, I had met him. Psyched hostess, hah!
Last thing that changed your life: Reading.
Last piece of clothing you bought: A stunning neckerchief at Blooms for 6 and 3.
Last time you failed: Last time I tried.
Last time you entered a skateboard contest: Over there in Europe, somewheres past Eve and Adam’s.
Last good tip someone gave you: Give up.
Last time you were prescribed drugs: When I told the doctor I couldn’t sleep. Now I can’t wake up.
Last time you went to church: Farty years ago.
Last time you put on a suit: At Fran’s birthday party.
Last time you felt perfectly comfortable: Last time I gave up.
Last time you gave up: Last time us gave up.
Last time you felt like you wanted to kill somebody: Last time he gave up.
Last time you wore all white: Last time it gave up.