Litterbox Bam

I found Bam lurking in the TransWorld hallways, so I grabbed him, rammed his head into the wall, threw him in a shopping cart, rolled him over to my desk, and made him answer all the questions you guys had for him. He was more than happy to do it, so read this, then go find a copy of CKY2K, because it’s funnier than anything you’ve ever seen.¿Shad

FORTHOUSE BUM? Bam, why do you still live with your parents? Who’s the bum that lives in your forthouse?¿Alexis Hernandez via e-mail

I live with my parents because there’s free food and clean clothes at all times. I also spend half of the year traveling, so I figure, why get a house when I’m gone anyway? The bum that lives in my fort is Bran Dicamillo (the comic genius). He is the star of CKY2K.

WE BREAK STUFF Dear Bam, first off I’d like to say that you, Brandon, and everyone else in CKY are pioneers in skateboarding and skate videos. I mean, when I showed my friends that video they immediately became interested in skateboarding and filming. You inspired us to act like retards and we thank you. We now trip with stuff and break things, and people think we are unstable, but we just think it’s hilarious. When is CKY 2 coming out? ¿Jake Falkinburg, Boothwyn, PennsylvaniaP.S. check out our retardedness out on the Web at www.crotchpaper.usuck.com. Thanks for liking our stuff. CKY2K will be out around March 20.

PHILLY CREW Bam, you’re a pretty sick individual, but you do some of the craziest shit I’ve ever seen. I hear that you skate in Philly, and I was wondering whether you’re down with Kalis and his crew. How is the whole skate scene there?¿Jeremy Woodmere, New York

The skate scene in Philly is great, the tech dogs skate Love and the city, the slash dogs skate the Philly park, and for some reason, I think I’m the only one who shreds with both. And yes, I skate with Kalis and the crew all the time.

WHAT KIND OF NAME IS BAM? Is Bam your real name?¿Thomas P. Gaska via e-mail It’s Brandon C. Margera.

HEY NIKE, JUST DO IT Hey Bam, you’re sick, man. Why doesn’t Nike put you in ads on TV or in jock mags? You’re such a better guy to promote stuff than Mike Jordan or some fat football player. Tell them to give you more money and put you on TV or you’ll leave, ’cause you could easily get on a shoe company and get a pro model. ¿Mike Farley, Victoria BC Canada.

Damn good point. When I finish writing this I’m going to call Nike and tell them what you told me. I want a commercial and a pro shoe. Thanks, Mike.

MULLET BROS Dear Bam, my brother and I have been working on developing our mullet for three and a half years now. In order to keep it tame, we have been trimming the top with my Flow-Bee, on attachment level three. The tail end of our mullet has reached 450 mm in length, and we were wondering two things. First, we wanted to know if we are at the correct stage in the mullet-growth process to upgrade the official mullet status to “Mullet Deluxe,” or if we should surpass that stage and go straight for the “Extreme Drum Clinic.” Secondly, we were wondering if Toy Machine was thinking of sponsoring a Mullet Skate Posse consisting of only skaters equipped with the most extraordinary neck-jobs (mullets). Lastly, we would like to tell all the skaters out there not to be embarrassed to sport a sweet 10/90 just because no other skaters would talk or be seen with you. Despite popular belief, it improves your aerodynamics while skating, leading to higher ollies and longer grindage, not to mention that chicks dig ’em. My brother and I have been sharing a mullet for three years, and it has vastly improved our mobility on our skateboard. We are Siamese twins, connected at the head.¿Michael and Patrick Carney, Akron, Ohio

Toy Machine isn’t sponsoring a mullet posse, I am. The rules are:1) You can only have a 0/100, 10/90, or a 20/80, unless its an stlbsswt, a.k.a. short top long back shaved sides with tail.2) You have to rock Velcro opony shoes and a comb in the back pocket of your haggard tight-ass stonewashed jeans.3) You have to suck at skating; if you don’t push mongo-footed, you’re off the team.

EAT THIS Bam, did you eat paint chips when you were a kid?¿Peter Haukoos via e-mail

No, I fed them to Brandon.

BAM TV Bam, have you ever thought about trying to get a sidekick spot on The Tom Green Show to showcase your ever-evolving talents and public displays?¿Wood, San Diego, California

Yes, Brandon and I have been talking to MTV heads about some kind of show. Hopefully things will get going soon. I’ve been going to these lame-ass meetings twice a week for it, so something better happen. Plus, I want to get Bran out of Nieman Marcus because he’s way to talented to be sitting at some mall in W.C. wrapping gifts.

FILM FOR FUN Bam, when I say this I am not kissing ass because it is true. I think you are one of the best skateboarders/movie short-filmers in the world. You have a very good style¿you do things and they are very fun to watch. You make me and my friends want to go out and film little movies. But my question is this, do you consider your filming and skateboarding an art, or just maybe something for fun or a sport?¿Chris Beeson via e-mail

I love filming, editing, skating, my brother’s band (CKY), and putting everything into one video, then showing my friends the finished product. I would say it is more of a fun thing than a sport or artform.

THE SHOPPING CART CHALLENGE Here is a challenge for you, Bam. Get a new shopping cart and drop in on a vert ramp. I was skating a mini last night and talking about that with my friends. Then today I find this opportunity to ask the question. So, will you accept my challenge?¿via e-mail

I will look into it.

MULLET PALS Yo Bam, even though you do way crazier crap than me, I need to ask you something. Say my friend had a mullet¿would you beat up my friend for having a mullet, or would you marvel in its beauty?¿via e-mail

I would call up The Gill to shoot a sequence of the mullet, then I would ask for an autograph, and if he sucked at skating, I would ask him to join my posse.

CHICKS DIG BAM Bam, are your parents proud of you? And what do you see yourself doing in a few years when your body is too broken to skate? And are you single?¿Heidi via e-mail

My parents have always been very supportive, even though I punch my friends in the face while they’re sleeping and encourage my brother to lay on the roof of a car going 100 mph. If my body became too broken to skate I could always still film, edit, and act, so I’m not too worried about that¿ although it would really suck if I couldn’t skate anymore. And about the girlfriend thing¿I was girlfriendless for six months, but now I’m taken.

EVIL KID Dear Bam, I was wondering why you are so mean to your dad. If I was hitting my dad all the time with newspapers, he’d probably end up kicking me out of the house, and I’d have to live in a tree. Peace to all my peeps in Tree Down Mung Mafia.¿via e-mail

I consider my dad more like one of my friends than a dad. I think he can still take me right now so I have to watch out for the moment. But I’m going to start training soon, so I can rough him up real bad.

COMIN’ UP ON THE EAST COAST Bam, what’s it like trying to further your skateboarding career on the East Coast as opposed to moving out to California, where the bulk of the industry is located?¿Steve McIntyre, Claremont, California

It’s not so bad, actually. Kerry Getz, Tim O’Connor, Hoof Bite, and Josh Kalis are there to skate with so the sessions are always good. Then I shoot photos with The Gill (Ryan Gee), and he will next-day air them to TransWorld.

WHO’S THAT GUY? Who the heck is Brandon? A childhood friend? Man, you two make a great team, CKY is genius. Give us the lowdown on Brandon¿the man, the myth, side two of the dynamic duo! Thanks.¿Rob via e-mail

Brandon is my homie from high school along with the rest of CKY posse. He is the best person to film with: he can play any character, he just improvises and it will make sense in a weird way. The guy can freestyle better than rappers, and the dude doesn’t even listen to rap.

SLAM BAM? Hey, I’m a sixteen-year-old girl skater who thinks you’re nuts, but a very good skater. My question is, what’s the worst fall you’ve ever taken?¿Sarah via e-mail

At City Hall in Philadelphia, I was trying to ollie to a bench then over a wall. The setup was too quick, so I clipped my feet on the wall and landed on my head at the bottom of a six-foot drop. It sucked.

WHAM BAM Why did you slam your head in to that mattress in the CKY video?¿NCskateboy via e-mail

To make you laugh.

il

Brandon is my homie from high school along with the rest of CKY posse. He is the best person to film with: he can play any character, he just improvises and it will make sense in a weird way. The guy can freestyle better than rappers, and the dude doesn’t even listen to rap.

SLAM BAM? Hey, I’m a sixteen-year-old girl skater who thinks you’re nuts, but a very good skater. My question is, what’s the worst fall you’ve ever taken?¿Sarah via e-mail

At City Hall in Philadelphia, I was trying to ollie to a bench then over a wall. The setup was too quick, so I clipped my feet on the wall and landed on my head at the bottom of a six-foot drop. It sucked.

WHAM BAM Why did you slam your head in to that mattress in the CKY video?¿NCskateboy via e-mail

To make you laugh.