Litterbox O’Connor

Litterbox O'Connor

The Tim O'Connor is not only a damn good skateboarder, he's also pretty damn funny. The Tim wrecks shop this month, so check it out, and check in some mail to: Litterbox, 353 Airport Road, Oceanside, CA 92054 or e-mail skatemag@twsnet.com–Shred
ZERO? I heard that Zero has to change its name because another company has got the same name. Is that true? If it's true, what's the new name for Zero?–Marc Via e-mail

This is oh-so true, Marc. The new name of the company is “The Number That Comes Before One.” It's either that or “Zilch.”–The “Only Food I Eat Is Tic-Tacs” Tim
YO-YO Yesterday, I was rippin' it up, yo, and me and my bro Neal were skating a rail, 'cause me and him are all about rails. Then Lil' B and Smolik came up, and Lil' B busted out a switch K down that rail in your mag in that Shorty's ad, and my friend Neal was all like, “Shiz, yo, Lil' B is a ripper. He's da bomb, word. Can I get some dap B?” and Smolik and Lil' B were all like, “Yo, bust it.” So I being goofy, backside five-0'd it, and my friend Neal that I was giving some dap about did a switch feeble to fakie. But Lil' B didn't see it, and my bro Neal was like, “Shiz, man, that sucks, yo.” Then we left and bluntslid the Muska ledge in Venice Beach. Word. I've been working on this trick called the Wyatt and Neal slide. You ride up to a ledge or rail, do a 90-degree turn slide on your nose, then come off. Thanks to my dog Runny Ruffer.–Wyatt and Neal via e-mail
So.–The Tim
BOARD WRITER In the last couple of mags I read from TWS I saw that people in your mag had writing on their board. I was wondering how people write on their board and what they use to write stuff with.–Steve, Ohio

The only way to write on your grip is with diamonds that come from the armpit of a cyclops that lives in the center of the Earth.–sincerely, Tim Foo
HEAVY-METAL! I am a fifteen-year-old girl skateboarder and I've been skateboarding for about one or two years. I like heavy metal, chains, and of course, skateboarding. I get a lot of stupid remarks from guys about how girls shouldn't skateboard or look like boys, but it's a sport for god's sake. It's probably because guys think they're better than girls, which is not true. I'm not going to change because some jerks don't think girls should skateboard.–Callesta Lancaster, Peauea, Pennsylvania
Let's not beat around the bush, Callesta. I can tell from your letter that you love me, and I am flattered. But I'm just too darn old for you. So please let go of your feelings for me. But, on the other hand, you are not too young to be in my heavy-metal band in which Satan is our lead singer.–your satanic friend, Tim
SURF'S UP!
What's up with you guys always making fun of surfers? If it wasn't for us surfers, you guys wouldn't even be here today. You should show some respect to the roots of your sport!–Alex Smith, Huntington Beach, California

Listen up cracker boy–surfers shmurfers. The reason why we're here is because our parents decided to make sweet succulent love, and I don't see what that has to do with surfers. I surfed once, and somehow I got attacked by a tiger in the water. I never surfed again, plus I don't like wearing neon Hobies with hot-pink Zinka on my nose.–Timmy 2X
SAVE THE SHOES I'm writing this letter on behalf of all the real skateboarders out there who remember when skate shoes were between 35 and 50 bucks and actually looked and felt like they were suitable to be skated in. All these trendy new DC shoe designs are annsult to skaters who know what shoes are supposed to be … practical. When DC stops giving in to corporate bullshit promos and starts realizing that skateboard shoes are made for skating, not for playing basketball, I'll gladly respect their competence once again.–Geoff Harkins via e-mail
Yeah, man! I agree! You should do what I do. Smear Shoe Goo all over your bare feet, allow them to dry, then skate. It's mad cheap.–Tim “My Shoes Come In A Tube” O'Connor
MUSKA VS. MOSES? I was reading your mag, and I forget where, but I think it was about Chad Muska and Moses Itkonen. I was wondering if they were really going to have a noselide competition on pay per view?–Dale Barcus, Fullerton, CA

Yes, you are correct, Dale. On the 13th month of this year, it will be broadcast for all the world to see. But it is not on pay per view, rather they are going to project it onto the moon, whiteboy.–Caucasian Tim

CAN'T WE ALL JUST SKATE ALONG What's up? Your mag is dope. I have been skating for about a year and a half, and I just want to say “Stop hating on black skateboarders!” I think its whack how people, mostly blacks, think I'm trying to act white. That's stupid; I'm not trying to act any way or like anybody. I'm just having fun doing what I love to do, skateboard.–Corey Edmunds, Fayetteville, North Carolina
P.S. I wanna say what up to my homies in Rotterdam, New York, and here in Fayetteville, North Carolina. Peace.
Today I wore a doo-rag and also found out that I too am black. The Man is trying to keep me down. Down with whitey. Cracker-ass cracker.–Mustafa O'Connor
GET A CLUE
I'm just writing for all of those dorks out there who think they'll get sponsored after they have been skating for like six months. Get a clue. If you are thinking about sponsors that early in skating, you are missing the point of skating … fun. And also to those people who think they will get sponsored because they sent in letters saying they are good. I have one word for you. Video.–Brett Mielke via e-mail
Not true, Brett. I got sponsored for writing the illest letter. I wrote it in calligraphy with footnotes while diffusing a bomb.–Tim Kaczynski
EAST VS. WEST You guys must think you're pretty cool or something, because all I ever see is photos from California. Do you not know that there are a bunch of skateboarders in other places who are just as good? You should really start running more photos of other places, I know I and a lot of other people would be stoked to see them. Just thought you should know.–Mike Nichols, Boston, Massachusetts
P.S. Props to Gee, Bam, and the BB crew.

I know Gee and Bam, and they know me. Can I have props too, please? Does BB stand for Barry's Banana? Because I would like to think it does. Thank you.–Mr. Tim
CLETUS I'm writting to support you guys and gals over there at TWS and to tell you to keep up the good work. I felt compelled to write such a letter after reading the trash that was sent in. Now, maybe I am a nobody, and maybe we all don't care, but I just feel I was blessed with good taste. I can tell decent magazines from crappy ones, good from bad, cute things from ugly things (although I try to find beauty in all things), and also good people from the rest of them. So maybe, just maybe, we can relax and take my word for it.
I've already stated that your magazine, as a whole, is great, but what about the individuals who make it possible? Who makes it all happen? I've been lucky enough to be graced by the presence of one of your men, and in fear of being dubbed a name dropper we'll just call him Ned Tewsome. That guy is great. A great photographer and a swell skateboarder. He didn't even get mad when I got on a table and gave him and his lady a bare-assed dance, it was at a NYC bar named Viagra. What a nice guy he is. But let me get to the point. I don't think anyone would mind a behind the scenes look at the makers of the mag. A special issue on this would be very nice to see, at least for me. Take a reader vote on it and see I was right. Okay, thanks for everything.–Cletus, Portland, New York
P.S. Rock fight? Where's Lee Ralph? Billy Waldmen? C. Walsh?

What the hell kind of name is Cletus? Whitebread. I heard a story about Billy Waldman once. He tried to sell a set of wheels to my friend, but two of the wheels were carved from a potato.–Tim “I Still Can't Believe Your Name Is Cletus” O'Connor
EMPTY V I just watched this weekend's MTV's Sports and Music Festival, and it was totally stupid. The big-air and best-trick contests were cool, but where was the street halfpipe and street contest? These people were more worried about breaking records and making money than showing something cool. I watched the whole thing (seven hours) hoping to see some halfpipe and street-course runs. The whole thing I think was a gimmick. I hope I never see anything that bad again!–Pat Shampine, New York
You think thats bad, I have this rash on my inner thigh that is completely inflamed and smothered in pus. Now that's bad.–Tim “Chancre” O'Connor
MONGO BONGO What the hell is mongo-footed?–Tyson via e-mail

Mongo-footed is when a human tends to have an extra toe on each foot. It is quite simply treated with an over-the-counter anti-fungal foot formula. Either that, or wrap the toe in a spare piece of ham and proceed to feed it to a wild dog. Problem solved, Hoover.–Tim “I Dont Care You Exist” O'Connor
WHERE'S PENNY #26 Okay, I'm sick of your guys smart-ass remarks! I want to know where Tom Penny is and if he even skateboards anymore. You'd think someone could ask a skate magazine and get a straight answer, but no. You guys say he's a mongo-footed hoverboarding fingerboarder. I think that's lame, I also think people really want to know what Tom Penny is doing!–Adam Crawford, Jackson, Wyoming

Adam, Tom Penny now resides in New Jersey. He's been spotted at the the Hoboken ledges and Eatontown roller rink every Friday night, skating with a hat made entirely out of hair. He has flesh dreadlocks.–Tim Penny

idn't even get mad when I got on a table and gave him and his lady a bare-assed dance, it was at a NYC bar named Viagra. What a nice guy he is. But let me get to the point. I don't think anyone would mind a behind the scenes look at the makers of the mag. A special issue on this would be very nice to see, at least for me. Take a reader vote on it and see I was right. Okay, thanks for everything.–Cletus, Portland, New York
P.S. Rock fight? Where's Lee Ralph? Billy Waldmen? C. Walsh?

What the hell kind of name is Cletus? Whitebread. I heard a story about Billy Waldman once. He tried to sell a set of wheels to my friend, but two of the wheels were carved from a potato.–Tim “I Still Can't Believe Your Name Is Cletus” O'Connor
EMPTY V I just watched this weekend's MTV's Sports and Music Festival, and it was totally stupid. The big-air and best-trick contests were cool, but where was the street halfpipe and street contest? These people were more worried about breaking records and making money than showing something cool. I watched the whole thing (seven hours) hoping to see some halfpipe and street-course runs. The whole thing I think was a gimmick. I hope I never see anything that bad again!–Pat Shampine, New York
You think thats bad, I have this rash on my inner thigh that is completely inflamed and smothered in pus. Now that's bad.–Tim “Chancre” O'Connor
MONGO BONGO What the hell is mongo-footed?–Tyson via e-mail

Mongo-footed is when a human tends to have an extra toe on each foot. It is quite simply treated with an over-the-counter anti-fungal foot formula. Either that, or wrap the toe in a spare piece of ham and proceed to feed it to a wild dog. Problem solved, Hoover.–Tim “I Dont Care You Exist” O'Connor
WHERE'S PENNY #26 Okay, I'm sick of your guys smart-ass remarks! I want to know where Tom Penny is and if he even skateboards anymore. You'd think someone could ask a skate magazine and get a straight answer, but no. You guys say he's a mongo-footed hoverboarding fingerboarder. I think that's lame, I also think people really want to know what Tom Penny is doing!–Adam Crawford, Jackson, Wyoming

Adam, Tom Penny now resides in New Jersey. He's been spotted at the the Hoboken ledges and Eatontown roller rink every Friday night, skating with a hat made entirely out of hair. He has flesh dreadlocks.–Tim Penny