The Story Of The Century – Element On Tour

Many, many, moons ago, God took it upon himself to bless a woman with the divine seed of life, which in turn blossomed into me, the Tim O’Connor. I remember in the beginning changing from larva to charismatic zygote, then finally into my rebellious embryo days. When the time was right, my mother popped me out. Instantly at this moment there was world peace, and all the planets aligned in perfect harmony. In the early days, my mother nurtured and trained me in the art of incredible-ass writing. All along she was preparing me for this day when I would be ripe enough to achieve literary perfection-impossible for any human to deliver. Somehow I pulled it off. So now without any further ado, read the story of the century and become enlightened.

This story simply begins with me and my fellow professional maneuver-doers being transported on a flying machine to a land far away called Australia. It took an infinite flight of fourteen hours, which consisted of the movie Babe, Pig In The Damn City being looped continuously to get us to the land Down Under. When we arrived, I used my keen observational skills to quickly realize this country was hot as human plop. Also, I think this is where hot comes from. We were only in Australia a short while when my colleagues decided we should go to the Jindalee skatepark, even though sleep had not yet happened in our lives.

When we got to this park the temperature was as hot as the devil’s ass. This did not last long because immediately after we got there, the sky proceeded to squirt sauce upon us. A couple of Element titans were way to psyched to stand around and look at the wet scene. So Natas Kaupas, Kris Markovich, and Bill Pepper went ahead and skated anyway. Oh baby! This was a gorgeously moist session with tons of extreme skateboard ariels being thrown into orbit. Nobody did any benihanas, because benihanas seriously suck. This day ended with everybody happy and with athlete’s foot.

Capalaba

On this day it was so insanely hot that Donny Barley’s caucasian body ignited into a blazing inferno mid switch hardflip. This went down at Capalaba skatepark, where the obstacles were smeared with some sort of adobe and earwax. Billy spent little time on the ground and mostly hovered over the main pyramid, until he ate adobe trying to airwalk over it.

The Toolshed

The demo for this day was canceled due to inclement weather. So instead of the demo, mostly everyone went to the casino to gamble their per diem and lives away. They all lost big-time, while the rest of us went to skate at a Christian skatepark. This place was half-church and half-ramps all in one room. God’s son Jesus was there skating in sandals and doing everything, including benihanas over the tabernacle. He thought he was badass, but he had a whack style and Donny busted him out anyway. Donny did a bunch of sweaty-ass stunts on bars, over hips, and over damn quarterpipes-all to the blaring sound of Christian rock. The white ninja from Connecticut, Donny, impressed all. Then we broke the hell out of that holy-ass place.

Pizzey Park

Natas’ birthday fell on our next 24-hour session in the cycle of life. He went to celebrate it with some blonde-rocker heads on the Gold Coast-the two blonde heads looked like both their names would be Brody. While Natas celebrated with Brody 2, the rest of us stopped to frolic with kangaroos, koala bears, and lions with rabies on our way to Pizzey Park.

When we showed up at the park, we came across a cement bowl people have died skating. I swear to the good lord above, people have ceased to exist by using their skateboard in this bowl. But death does not scare our team. This is why we all sat at the side, while Donny got nice in the above-mentioned obstacle. There were human remains, old scabs, and poisonous serpents in the bottom. Donny ploughed right through these items, and so did some other guy who was shirtless wearing shorts with spackle all over them. The spackle guy ate neck intohe flesh-eating bowl. He slid on his butt-naked back right through the channel into the bottom of the bowl. Donny did filthy (filthy means good in Australia) ollies to grinds over the channel with the finesse of a white boy.

Grafton

In this town there were some sheisty, dirty, carbon-based life forms. Some kid stole Reese Forbes’ hat, then was so-not-smart he tried to get it signed by Reese a few minutes later. I found this hilarious, so I gave the kid my old board. Other than this little mishap, the demo was decent and the whole team did quality tricks for the kiddies.

Port Maquarie

Let me tell you about this place where people are really nice, and their skatepark really sucks. The park is made out of sun-baked human dung. Even with all this sucking going on, Kenny Hughes and Natas still found a way to get busy. Kenny got busy with Clause Grabke, and that was it.

Sydney

This is the part of the story where things got so crazy, I had to lie about certain things in order for them to remain true. Sydney is where our enormous Kenny Hughes slipped into his role as the “International Playboy.” The female gender was going nuts for this big, black American man. Kenny had a different woman accompany him every couple of minutes. I saw his way with women and swiftly decided to start hanging out with him and call him my best friend. I also started calling myself “Logan The Luxurious,” so not only would women be impressed with my big black friend, they’d be twice as impressed with my exquisite new name. Unfortunately, Logan only ended up watching the International Playboy getting women, but he did get pictures of it. It turned out that I was more of a domestic playboy.

Menai

The next demo was at Menai, The Thunderdome. This place was cement as hell, and I thought for sure I’d lose a fellow Element, or Felement, at this demo. Reese “Lord Of Leap” earned his per diem with a bountiful harvest of flip tricks. Donny again was prevalent with award-winning maneuvers throughout the course. I hadn’t been capable of maneuvers because of an ankle malfunction, but I was still able to do airs with one limb flailing off, to please the crowd.

St. Ives

Good park, bad wind. There were mad amounts of humans and mad amounts of wind blowing our boards everywhere but under our feet. This demo got exciting when Markovich ollied a hip at the speed of sound and dove head first into the corner of a ledge-his dome split so wide open I could see his thoughts. There was professional blood everywhere and the kids screamed for more. They got more, more of me landing nothing. Jeremy Wray prevailed anyway. He has little dust busters in his shoes, which allow the Element Featherlights to suck perfectly to his feet. His calculations for skateboard flips were affirmative, which led him to conquer this demo and receive mass amounts of St. Ives love. Markovich came back with some stitches in his noggin. I will now be referring to him as Stitch Markovich or just plain Stitchovich.

Right after the demo we headed downtown to shoot some photos. Reese made a prevalently humongous ollie over two benches with enough room in between them to fit nine Element elephants. He made this prevalent ollie going just shy of the speed of light. Then we took ourselves to a mall made of gold, where Jeremy ollied a prevalent double-set. Jeremy prevalently pretended he was shopping for golden underwear and socks, so he would not be removed from the classy mall. He dashed past Cinnabon and right past Baby Gap, so he could gain proper prevalent momentum to clear the double set. Perfectly executed on the first try was this ollie.

We all began running away, while prevalent cops shot at us with platinum guns and prevalent diamond bullets. That night was spent consuming thunderous amounts of drinks.

Spoidahhh!

This paragraph is dedicated to our Aussie driver and friend who likes to be called Spider. His name is supposed to be pronounced Spoidahhh-for all of you who could not be there to see it for real. Spider a.k.a. Spoidahhh is bald and plays the best dashboard drums I’ve ever heard. He also smells like egg salad. Spoidahhh!

Woollagong

We went to Woollagong skatepark where I slept in the grass. I have no idea what my team was doing at that point in life.

Ulladulla

Our little hotel was this out-of-the-way place where the service was to die for. We had our own little Element village-all of the

Element stunt masters were my neighbors. Our whole crew got together for a N.W.A barbecue involving exotic meats to celebrate our togetherness. The following morning we had a free day and we used it to skate the Ulladulla skatepark, which was in the mix. The park was real good, Timmy like. There was a dread by the name of Barry there, who treated the park to some elegant maneuvers. He was joined in shredding by the likes of Donny, Kenny, Billy, Stitch, Jeremy, and Natas. Monkeys mated in a tree nearby. If you’re ever in Ulladulla skate the park, but please don’t do any benihanas.

Canberra

On they way to Canberra, Billy did the best thing I’ve ever seen him do. We stopped during our drive to have a scenic moment on top of a mountain. It was the best base-jumping spot I’ve ever seen. Billy

decided to have a sticker toss on the side of this cliff; he grabbed

900 CCS stickers and tossed away. The stickers caught a jet

stream and flew 30 miles the opposite way. These stickers never

touched the ground. On my flight home, I saw a CCS sticker on a

cumulus nimbus.

When we got to the park, it sucked yak balls, except for the cement mini ramp. Kenny, Natas, Jeremy, and Donny blessed the crowd with stunts, while Stichovich got caught hard as hell selling

product. The demo ended quickly and everyone headed for the casinos once again.

Bendigo

It was another long drive to Bendigo, and we showed up nice and late to build up suspense. Bendigo had a little park, but it was fun if you were having fun. The demo happened, and so did the International Playboy on the love scene. He scored again and sometimes even scored when we stopped for gas. Give him a minute and he’ll give you hot animalistic love on a platter. The day ended.

Melbourne

There we were in Melbourne, watching Donny ollie a giant street gap. He attempted to vault it one time and shot his board at Mach nine into a nearby 7-Eleven. The front doors opened just in time for his board to bounce off the Slurpee machine and knock a Slurpee out of some guy’s hand.

Our next day was our last demo at Frankston. Big-dog Kenny did some damage to this place with the help of Reese, Billy, Stitch, and Jeremy. Kenny nosegrinded, backside tailslid, bluntslid, and 180

switch crooked grinded the rail. He also threw down a heap of tricks

over the pyramid. The demo was beautiful, like me, until Kenny upped his board and cut his shin to the bone. That was pretty much how the Element tour ended.

P.S. I had a sprained ankle the whole tour, so I did nothing. Benihanas suck, three a breast-Tim O’Connor with the honor.

Element Tour Interviews

Tim O’Connor

Was this your first time in Australia?

Yes.

Did you forget to pack anything?

I forgot nothing, because I am perfect.

If there were one thing you could bring from the States, what would it be?

I brought everything I need.

What’s the biggest difference between the two countries?

Hungry Jack’s is Burger King. This is America with different accents.

What’s in your Walkman right now?

Little Baby Face.

Compare Australian kids to American kids?

They don’t care who you are. All they want is free shit.

Have you seen any kangaroos?

Yes, I rode one. I swear I was riding one.

Have you gambled? Are you up or down?

I gambled five bucks, lost, and will never gamble again.

Favorite Australian slang word?

Bullshit and filthy.

Have you seen any Australian stereotypes?

I saw an Aborigine playing a didgeridoo.

What’s the funniest thing you’ve seen her be there to see it for real. Spider a.k.a. Spoidahhh is bald and plays the best dashboard drums I’ve ever heard. He also smells like egg salad. Spoidahhh!

Woollagong

We went to Woollagong skatepark where I slept in the grass. I have no idea what my team was doing at that point in life.

Ulladulla

Our little hotel was this out-of-the-way place where the service was to die for. We had our own little Element village-all of the

Element stunt masters were my neighbors. Our whole crew got together for a N.W.A barbecue involving exotic meats to celebrate our togetherness. The following morning we had a free day and we used it to skate the Ulladulla skatepark, which was in the mix. The park was real good, Timmy like. There was a dread by the name of Barry there, who treated the park to some elegant maneuvers. He was joined in shredding by the likes of Donny, Kenny, Billy, Stitch, Jeremy, and Natas. Monkeys mated in a tree nearby. If you’re ever in Ulladulla skate the park, but please don’t do any benihanas.

Canberra

On they way to Canberra, Billy did the best thing I’ve ever seen him do. We stopped during our drive to have a scenic moment on top of a mountain. It was the best base-jumping spot I’ve ever seen. Billy

decided to have a sticker toss on the side of this cliff; he grabbed

900 CCS stickers and tossed away. The stickers caught a jet

stream and flew 30 miles the opposite way. These stickers never

touched the ground. On my flight home, I saw a CCS sticker on a

cumulus nimbus.

When we got to the park, it sucked yak balls, except for the cement mini ramp. Kenny, Natas, Jeremy, and Donny blessed the crowd with stunts, while Stichovich got caught hard as hell selling

product. The demo ended quickly and everyone headed for the casinos once again.

Bendigo

It was another long drive to Bendigo, and we showed up nice and late to build up suspense. Bendigo had a little park, but it was fun if you were having fun. The demo happened, and so did the International Playboy on the love scene. He scored again and sometimes even scored when we stopped for gas. Give him a minute and he’ll give you hot animalistic love on a platter. The day ended.

Melbourne

There we were in Melbourne, watching Donny ollie a giant street gap. He attempted to vault it one time and shot his board at Mach nine into a nearby 7-Eleven. The front doors opened just in time for his board to bounce off the Slurpee machine and knock a Slurpee out of some guy’s hand.

Our next day was our last demo at Frankston. Big-dog Kenny did some damage to this place with the help of Reese, Billy, Stitch, and Jeremy. Kenny nosegrinded, backside tailslid, bluntslid, and 180

switch crooked grinded the rail. He also threw down a heap of tricks

over the pyramid. The demo was beautiful, like me, until Kenny upped his board and cut his shin to the bone. That was pretty much how the Element tour ended.

P.S. I had a sprained ankle the whole tour, so I did nothing. Benihanas suck, three a breast-Tim O’Connor with the honor.

Element Tour Interviews

Tim O’Connor

Was this your first time in Australia?

Yes.

Did you forget to pack anything?

I forgot nothing, because I am perfect.

If there were one thing you could bring from the States, what would it be?

I brought everything I need.

What’s the biggest difference between the two countries?

Hungry Jack’s is Burger King. This is America with different accents.

What’s in your Walkman right now?

Little Baby Face.

Compare Australian kids to American kids?

They don’t care who you are. All they want is free shit.

Have you seen any kangaroos?

Yes, I rode one. I swear I was riding one.

Have you gambled? Are you up or down?

I gambled five bucks, lost, and will never gamble again.

Favorite Australian slang word?

Bullshit and filthy.

Have you seen any Australian stereotypes?

I saw an Aborigine playing a didgeridoo.

What’s the funniest thing you’ve seen here?

I saw this drunk man fall down four stairs. He didn’t get up.

Reese Forbes

Is this your first time in Australia?

Yes.

Did you forget to pack anything?

Yeah, my girlfriend.

If there were one thing you could bring from home, what would it be?

Same answer as before.

What’s the biggest difference between the two countries?

The kids here want free stuff. In America the kids want to see who you are.

What’s playing in your Walkman right now?

Jeff Buckley.

Have you seen any kangaroos?

No, I missed that day.

Have you gambled? Are you up or down?

Yes, I’m down twenty bucks.

Favorite Australian slang word?

Heaps.

What’s the funniest thing you’ve seen here?

Something that would have to do with Tim O’Connor. Perhaps it was when Donny’s board went into 7-Eleven and hit that Slurpee out of the guy’s hand.

Donny Barley

Is this your first time in Australia?

Yes.

Did you forget to pack anything?

Lots of things, but in the end, it didn’t matter. I just freestyled it and pulled it together.

If you could bring something from the States, what would it be?

CDs. I should’ve brought more boards, too.

What’s the biggest difference between the two countries?

It’s pretty laid back here. Kids learn at a young age and are more civilized. Everyone seems to be less critical, people just accept each other, and no one is higher or lower. If someone is a better skater, they just get cheered more.

Have you seen any kangaroos?

Yeah, I saw 40 at the sanctuary.

Have you gambled? Are you up or down?

Me and Karen gambled. We ended up with 75 bucks.

Favorite Australian slang word?

Spider.

Have you seen any Australian stereotypes?

People hear my accent and think I’m a piece of shit. They hate Americans here time of Kosovo crisis.

What’s the funniest thing you’ve seen here?

Tim O’Connor, that’s a given. Just everybody having fun and partying. Dan Wolfe on the dance floor. Kenny Hughes yelling like a terradactil.

Kris Markovich

Is this your first time in Australia?

No, fourth.

Did you forget to pack anything?

Yeah, Advil.

If there were one thing you could bring from the States, what would it be?

Budweiser.

What are the biggest differences?

Accents. When a kid wants something and you tell him you don’t have it, he’ll keep asking you for it.

Have you gambled? Are you up or down?

Yes, I’m up 600.

What’s your favorite Australian slang word?

Too easy, mate.

Have seen any Australian stereotypes?

Everyone here expects you to drink all the time.

What’s the funniest thing you’ve seen?

When everyone was in the van yelling, “Spoidahhh!”

Natas Kaupas

Is this your first time in Australia?

No, I was here ten years ago, but very briefly.

Is there anything you forgot to pack?

Enough boards and enough shoes.

If there were one thing you could bring from the States, what would it be?

My sports car. All the back roads we drove on would have been

excellent.

What are the differences between the two countries?

They use the letter Y in the word “tyres.” All the kids seemed pretty much the same. There were a lot more older people at the demos.

What’s playing in your Walkman?

Sixteen Horse Power.

Have you gambled? Are you up or down?

Yes, I’m up.

Favorite Australian slang word?

Piss out me, dick.

Have you seen any Australian stereotypes?

The hot girl with the freckles on her nose.

What’s the funniest thing you’ve seen?

It’s funny you should ask Billy Pepper walks past us on the landing with his trousers around his ankles, on his way to open the hotel’s front door for Kenny Hughes, I’ve seen too many funny things to name one.

Jeremy Wray

Is this your first time in Australia?

No, second.

Did you forget to pack anything?

No, I had it all.

If there were one thing you could bring from the States, what would it be?

My girlfriend.

What are the biggest differences between the two countries?

All the spiderrs here, and the money looks different. There’s not that much street skating here. All the locals at the parks were good.

Did you see any kangaroos?

Only ones surfing in postcards.

Did you gamble? Are you up or down?

My time’s up.

Favorite Australian slang word?

Filth.

Kenny Hughes

Is this the first time you’ve been here?

No, this is my second.

Did you forget to pack anything?

I forgot one thing, my voltage converter. That’s why I can’t use my clippers, ’cause they blew up the first night I got here.

If there were one thing you could bring from the States, what would it be?

More money.

What’s playing in your Walkman?

A mini-disc compilation.

Were there any noticeable differences between here and the States?

Not really. All the kids have been super nice.

Have you seen any kangaroos?

Yeah, I almost got jacked by one on this trip.

Have you gambled at all? Are you up or down?

Down. No comment, my mother is going to read this.

What’s the funniest thing you’ve seen on tour?

Again, no comment. I’ve been involved in too many things.

Billy Pepper

Is this your first time in Australia?

No, my second.

Did you forget to pack anything?

My boomerang.

If you could bring anything from the States, what would it be?

More product.

What the biggest difference between the two countries?

They buy more product here. There’re more aboriginal skaters here.

What’s playing in your Walkman right now?

Too many things: The Beach Boys, Daryll Hall and John Oates.

Have you seen any kangaroos?

Tons, they’re everywhere.

Have you gambled? Are you up or down:

Lots, sideways.

Favorite Australian slang word?

Spoidahhhh!

Funniest thing you’ve seen on tour?

Ben.

I saw this drunk man fall down four stairs. He didn’t get up.

Reese Forbes

Is this your first time in Australia?

Yes.

Did you forget to pack anything?

Yeah, my girlfriend.

If there were one thing you could bring from home, what would it be?

Same answer as before.

What’s the biggest difference between the two countries?

The kids here want free stuff. In America the kids want to see who you are.

What’s playing in your Walkman right now?

Jeff Buckley.

Have you seen any kangaroos?

No, I missed that day.

Have you gambled? Are you up or down?

Yes, I’m down twenty bucks.

Favorite Australian slang word?

Heaps.

What’s the funniest thing you’ve seen here?

Something that would have to do with Tim O’Connor. Perhaps it was when Donny’s board went into 7-Eleven and hit that Slurpee out of the guy’s hand.

Donny Barley

Is this your first time in Australia?

Yes.

Did you forget to pack anything?

Lots of things, but in the end, it didn’t matter. I just freestyled it and pulled it together.

If you could bring something from the States, what would it be?

CDs. I should’ve brought more boards, too.

What’s the biggest difference between the two countries?

It’s pretty laid back here. Kids learn at a young age and are more civilized. Everyone seems to be less critical, people just accept each other, and no one is higher or lower. If someone is a better skater, they just get cheered more.

Have you seen any kangaroos?

Yeah, I saw 40 at the sanctuary.

Have you gambled? Are you up or down?

Me and Karen gambled. We ended up with 75 bucks.

Favorite Australian slang word?

Spider.

Have you seen any Australian stereotypes?

People hear my accent and think I’m a piece of shit. They hate Americans here time of Kosovo crisis.

What’s the funniest thing you’ve seen here?

Tim O’Connor, that’s a given. Just everybody having fun and partying. Dan Wolfe on the dance floor. Kenny Hughes yelling like a terradactil.

Kris Markovich

Is this your first time in Australia?

No, fourth.

Did you forget to pack anything?

Yeah, Advil.

If there were one thing you could bring from the States, what would it be?

Budweiser.

What are the biggest differences?

Accents. When a kid wants something and you tell him you don’t have it, he’ll keep asking you for it.

Have you gambled? Are you up or down?

Yes, I’m up 600.

What’s your favorite Australian slang word?

Too easy, mate.

Have seen any Australian stereotypes?

Everyone here expects you to drink all the time.

What’s the funniest thing you’ve seen?

When everyone was in the van yelling, “Spoidahhh!”

Natas Kaupas

Is this your first time in Australia?

No, I was here ten years ago, but very briefly.

Is there anything you forgot to pack?

Enough boards and enough shoes.

If there were one thing you could bring from the States, what would it be?

My sports car. All the back roads we drove on would have been

excellent.

What are the differences between the two countries?

They use the letter Y in the word “tyres.” All the kids seemed pretty much the same. There were a lot more older people at the demos.

What’s playing in your Walkman?

Sixteen Horse Power.

Have you gambled? Are you up or down?

Yes, I’m up.

Favorite Australian slang word?

Piss out me, dick.

Have you seen any Australian stereotypes?

The hot girl with the freckles on her nose.

What’s the funniest thing you’ve seen?

It’s funny you should ask Billy Pepper walks past us on the landing with his trousers around his ankles, on his way to open the hotel’s front door for Kenny Hughes, I’ve seen too many funny things to name one.

Jeremy Wray

Is this your first time in Australia?

No, second.

Did you forget to pack anything?

No, I had it all.

If there were one thing you could bring from the States, what would it be?

My girlfriend.

What are the biggest differences between the two countries?

All the spiders here, and the money looks different. There’s not that much street skating here. All the locals at the parks were good.

Did you see any kangaroos?

Only ones surfing in postcards.

Did you gamble? Are you up or down?

My time’s up.

Favorite Australian slang word?

Filth.

Kenny Hughes

Is this the first time you’ve been here?

No, this is my second.

Did you forget to pack anything?

I forgot one thing, my voltage converter. That’s why I can’t use my clippers, ’cause they blew up the first night I got here.

If there were one thing you could bring from the States, what would it be?

More money.

What’s playing in your Walkman?

A mini-disc compilation.

Were there any noticeable differences between here and the States?

Not really. All the kids have been super nice.

Have you seen any kangaroos?

Yeah, I almost got jacked by one on this trip.

Have you gambled at all? Are you up or down?

Down. No comment, my mother is going to read this.

What’s the funniest thing you’ve seen on tour?

Again, no comment. I’ve been involved in too many things.

Billy Pepper

Is this your first time in Australia?

No, my second.

Did you forget to pack anything?

My boomerang.

If you could bring anything from the States, what would it be?

More product.

What the biggest difference between the two countries?

They buy more product here. There’re more aboriginal skaters here.

What’s playing in your Walkman right now?

Too many things: The Beach Boys, Daryll Hall and John Oates.

Have you seen any kangaroos?

Tons, they’re everywhere.

Have you gambled? Are you up or down:

Lots, sideways.

Favorite Australian slang word?

Spoidahhhh!

Funniest thing you’ve seen on tour?

Ben.

e spiders here, and the money looks different. There’s not that much street skating here. All the locals at the parks were good.

Did you see any kangaroos?

Only ones surfing in postcards.

Did you gamble? Are you up or down?

My time’s up.

Favorite Australian slang word?

Filth.

Kenny Hughes

Is this the first time you’ve been here?

No, this is my second.

Did you forget to pack anything?

I forgot one thing, my voltage converter. That’s why I can’t use my clippers, ’cause they blew up the first night I got here.

If there were one thing you could bring from the States, what would it be?

More money.

What’s playing in your Walkman?

A mini-disc compilation.

Were there any noticeable differences between here and the States?

Not really. All the kids have been super nice.

Have you seen any kangaroos?

Yeah, I almost got jacked by one on this trip.

Have you gambled at all? Are you up or down?

Down. No comment, my mother is going to read this.

What’s the funniest thing you’ve seen on tour?

Again, no comment. I’ve been involved in too many things.

Billy Pepper

Is this your first time in Australia?

No, my second.

Did you forget to pack anything?

My boomerang.

If you could bring anything from the States, what would it be?

More product.

What the biggest difference between the two countries?

They buy more product here. There’re more aboriginal skaters here.

What’s playing in your Walkman right now?

Too many things: The Beach Boys, Daryll Hall and John Oates.

Have you seen any kangaroos?

Tons, they’re everywhere.

Have you gambled? Are you up or down:

Lots, sideways.

Favorite Australian slang word?

Spoidahhhh!

Funniest thing you’ve seen on tour?

Ben.