GUEST REVIEWER OF THE MONTH:BRAD STABA

The Cribs
Men’s Needs, Women’s Needs, Whatever
Witchita

(Zero Stars)

First, I should start by saying I needed to take two Xanax after listening to this CD. I was already feeling a little unstable, but after the first fifteen seconds of this CD, it put me over the edge. I don’t really watch TRL, but somehow I felt like I was right there in the studio.

Let’s talk about the good aspects of these guys. There are none, so let’s just get back to calling them out for not succeeding. They copy Weezer at times and on track nine, they’re on some Yeah Yeah Yeahs guitar vibe. I’m a big “pave your own path guy, and these dudes just waited for somebody else to do it and strolled right down. The only thing that I thought was halfway decent was the fact that somebody put Lee Ranaldo on track ten. He does his usual spoken-word poem crap, but at least he has some knowledge of what good music is. The fact that he thought it would be a good idea to do a cameo on this disc is a true mystery.

I’m way into music and also way too honest at times, but I just couldn’t let these guys slip. No new sound, no new vibe, same ol’ tilt neck geared toward the Warped Tour. Once again, they are very Weezer-influenced, so I would go straight to the source and buy a Weezer CD. And at the very end of the day, it made me want to start a band and sound good. So I’m pretty stoked on them for that. The best thing about this CD is they really make you want to produce something quality in life after hearing what it’s like to fail. Thanks, guys!—Brad Staba