Craziest Fan Requests:
1. Can you make me a painting?
2. Will you impregnate my mom so I can have a brother?
3. Can I just get in the van and come on the rest of the tour with you?
4. Can we look at your balls?
5. Will you sign my ass?
Things To Draw At Autograph Signings:
1. Transistor Sect-the orange guy with the snork, one eye, and the crab-style claws.
2. Turtle Boy.
3. The TM Monster.
4. Transmissionator-the guy with six eyes and satellite-dish ears.
5. My old “Consumer” drawing from the New Deal days.
Nicknames People Have Given You:
1. “The Tempster”-I think Arto Saari gave me that.
2. “Templetoes,” from Sasha Steinhorst.
3. “Ed Eats Bread,” from Deanna’s brother Joey.
4. “Dylan,” from some ramp dudes from Las Vegas. They thought I was trying to look like Dylan from Beverly Hills 90210.
5. “Temp-Dog” from Muska, probably.
Strangest People You See In Huntington Beach:
1. I saw a dude with an SS tattoo the other day.
2. Tattooed, wife-beater-wearing, pit-bull-owning, pierced-face-rocking bro-brahs are a dime a dozen.
3. Kids with swastikas drawn on their chests.
4. Sixteen-year-old girls with only inches of clothing on.
5. Mexican dudes with zoom lenses on the HB pier taking photos of girls in bathing suits.
Best Things About Being A Vegan:
1. I am not killing things, but I’m pro-choice.
2. Hopefully I will live a longer and healthier life. Mix that with skateboarding and I will live the same amount of time as everyone else.
3. I am contributing to helping the environment. Man, that sounds like hippie-sh-t and I hate hippies.
4. It makes me think about food in more ways than normal. I read ingredients and make purchasing choices based on that reading.
5. All the vegan treats they make now-soy ice cream and beyond.
Pieces Of Art:
1. Egon Schiele’s watercolor drawings of nude girls.
2. Almost everything done by David Hockney, Chris Johanson, and Raymond Pettibon.
3. Henry Darger’s illustrations for his epic novel.
4. Gustav Klimt’s portrait of Adele Bloch-Bauer-it was stolen by the Nazis. The original owners sued to get it back, got it, and just sold it for over 400-million dollars.
5. Boris Mikhailov’s photography-I love how he works in series form.
1. Mike Maldonado, Kerry Getz, and Bam Margera would come as a posse.
2. Chad Muska-he would show up at twelve o’clock in the afternoon saying, “I just woke up in a gutter and found my way back here somehow.”
3. Austin Stephens lived with me for a year. I barely even knew he was there he was so quiet.
4. I let this kid Luke watch my house while I was gone in Europe for a month. We came back and the house was trashed, and there were bloody panties under our bed.
5. Donny Barley, Brian Anderson, and Elissa Steamer would be there a lot, too.
Craziest Fan Requests: