Toner 18

Toner 18
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Important things are-by and large-not very good things.

Jury duty is important, as are term papers, parking tickets, mandatory meetings, dentist visits, cleaning toilets, registering for the draft, double yellows, and contests of any sort. Argue with this list if you like, but know that while arguing with lists might make you feel or sound important, it’s also not a very good thing.

When someone boldly states, “I’ve got more important things to do!” and then huffs off to take care of those pressing matters, they’re probably pissed off at the fact that (A) there’re some deeds that they absolutely needed to get done, and (B) those deeds are probably on another list of some sort. Maybe one starting with the headline, “TO DO.”

Deeds on a list are-by and large-not very good things.

Many times, you can hear the above quote exclaimed in times of stress, moodiness, and/or jealousy. The louder it’s exclaimed, the more aggravated the person you hear using it is-no doubt perturbed that (A) someone has put a list of important things together for them, and (B) others seem to have no list and are instead doing-by and large-less important things.

I just looked up “by and large.” It means “most of the time.” “By and large” always sounds good.

If, however, there are more important things to do, more important things to shout about, and more important things to put on lists, there must also be lots of unimportant and very good things.

Which brings me to my point:

Skateboarding is very, very, very unimportant-by and large. Of course, people claim that skateboarding has saved their lives, or that skateboarding has allowed them to rise from the depths of depression, or skateboarding has taught them everything they know, or skateboarding has allowed them to see the world in a different light.

And while those testaments can be viewed as having importance, it’s surely skateboarding’s frivolity that allowed those testaments to be made manifest. Don’t you think?

I just looked up “frivolity.” It means “of little or no weight,

characterized by a lack of seriousness.”

The times skateboarding finds itself presently anchored in can seem very solemn and very arrogant, but they really aren’t. Why? Because it’s skateboarding, you idiot. People carrying themselves with the false air of significance or standing behind the faáade of notability are pretending. They’re the dicks at the session, they’re the ones whose wheels are too big, trucks are too tight, whose bearings aren’t right, complaining about the spot, telling you everything that’s wrong, trying to bring you into the fold of their gravity-the very individuals who shout about having more important things to do.

The act of skateboarding is fun. It’s a complete good. It’s a complex diversion. A glad-handed cluster of details and moments that are ultimately and beautifully unimportant deep down to their very cores.

Skateboarding doesn’t matter in the least.

And through the nature of skateboarding’s insignificance, it calls to us. It beckons through the brick walls of institutions, screaming through garbage day, laughing from somewhere inside the jabbering of every boss on the planet, guffawing through the white shirts of Radio Shack employees.

I just looked up “guffawing.”

It means you have less important things to do.

Tee hee hee.