Tim’s Biznass

In this day and age in skateboarding, skateboarders and external corporations alike have incessantly been seeking one another out.

This is so that each of the two parties can use one another to help themselves pull in heavy stacks of greenbacks. All who own a TV are bearing witness to this type of situation on a daily basis-athletes from all sports are shown on idiot boxes everywhere endorsing batteries or some other random nonsense. Because skaters also want some “do-rae-mi,” like other major athletes, they too have swung the door to the skateboard world wide-freakin’-open so that the dangerous corporate double-edge sword can slide on in. Along with that they have also granted passage to a whole mess of other unwanted external involvement that was lurking in the shadows, also fiending to get its harsh mitts on the inside-thus letting the outsiders infiltrate an area that should strictly be our stomping grounds.

If these outside corporations want in so bad, I think, or better yet I know, we should be a little more wary of all this and not let them in until it’s more so on our own terms. If they don’t agree to what we stipulate, then I say, “Fuck ’em” and tell them to go peddle their shit somewhere else. Send their lives to a wakeboarding contest or something. Most likely they will fold and play our game the way we want it played.

I went to an X-Games trials contest once when the whole X-Games thing was still a bit new, and I didn’t really fully understand the nature of that corny beast. Skaters were pitted against one another like gladiators for all the public to see if they could make a place for themselves in the main X-Games contest where they could possibly hit the big-time pay dirt. This event was of course televised, so corporations were very much in the house. There were numerous banners all over the course promoting every sort of product you could think of. And even though there were banners displayed throughout the contest area, I noticed that there was not a single one for any skateboard company-which got me thinking we were basically out of what should be our element and sort of selling our souls for the deliciously decadent dollar without clearly being conscious of it.

It seemed as though the outsiders had completely taken over this realm of skateboarding and that we were in very little control of what was taking place. Anyway, I ended up standing in front of a small banner during someone’s run, thus obstructing the television camera’s view of it. When someone from the corporate side saw what I was not purposely doing, they yelled at me, told me to skedaddle out of the way, and then proceeded to kick me off the deck of the ramp even though I was skating in the contest.

I hated this sack of shit outsider telling me what to do, so I went up to the judges right then and there and told them to take me out of the contest.

That made me want nothing to do with that whole circus of a scene, and to this day I haven’t yet tried to make my way back. Of course, all the contest dorks stayed and got some money, but I was glad I broke out ’cause it made me look like I was cool.

And by contest dorks I mean the people who only skate contests and basically aren’t seen anywhere else in skateboarding-so take it easy, it’s okay to skate a contest if you can skate other shit, too.

These are the dorks who show up to every televised contest and are to blame for continually feeding the corporate hounds. All the while making it easier for them to set the rules for us and not the other way around, the way it should be.

Everyone has to realize that we have the upper hand here, and if we wanted we could make the involvement of outside corporations in contests a little more tasteful if we weren’t so damn impatient and greedy.