Ah-Ha! I’ve Arrived!
The chicken inspector’s in Australia.
Story by Country Cracker
I awoke to a thundering crash. A falling sensation overcame me as I grappled with the couch, dodging frying pans and other household utensils that had taken it upon themselves to create a meteor shower in the front room. I strapped on my paper helmet and made it to the front window--now just shards of glass jutting toward the blue sky, ones that could cut deep into the jugular letting the blood spray all over the walls.
As I looked out I could see the ground coming toward me at a very slow speed. The greater Orange County area was now turning to rubble and dust. Was this the end of all the insanity we once knew? I could feel the descent slowing now. I got back on the couch and prayed for a swift end. No need to endure the pain.
With a dull thud, it all stopped. Everything went silent. I waited for a second or two, then opened my eyes. It was ruined--everything. What would I do?
Out of nowhere, I heard a knock. It wasn’t a stern knock, more like a cold goose-bumped-skin thud. I clambered over 18,000 biscuits to make my way to the door and began prying it open with a banana peel that had made an attempt to free itself from the fruit bowl during the descent. As the first rays of light appeared through the small crack, all I could see was shaking skin as the door finally gave way. I was greeted by a gigantic chicken. It looked petrified--shaking like a newborn baby deer. I don’t know why, but the fact that it had no legs, wings, or head gave me the impression it was the chosen one. I stepped outside and watched it for a second. It turned its mass and asked me if I was ready. I was. It was time.